11 points that think Dylan's Christian albums are under-rated

1. Over the top?

The Battle of The Somme - the tragic centrepiece of the Great War - was devised by the powers-that-be to end the war decisively. It ended up lasting for 6 devastating months. History proves it a tragedy so futile it would be comic if it wasn’t so real. While football is not life and death (Blank disagrees with Shankly shock!) we can learn from the lessons of history. This feels like our Somme moment. Fans are divided by a stark choice: act decisively now or risk an extended future in no man’s land. We could persevere with the status quo, we could even achieve a modicum of success – but at what cost? There will come a point where someone somewhere (a Glazer or Ferguson) will realise that for radical results we must make radical change. That time may not be now but if we’re to invest all our resources for limited success (at best) then you have to ask, what’s the point? Since we last spoke we’ve been on quite the run. We beat Swansea before losing to Sunderland, Chelsea, and Stoke. We beat Cardiff but didn’t actually deserve to. We even had a week off. Because we’re no longer in the FA Cup. We then came bouncing back with a tremendous draw against Fulham before managing a clean sheet at Arsenal that said more about them than about us. This is not a slump. This is life. Not since 1989 have we felt so without hope. We are going into each game blindly climbing over the top and getting gunned down. Since David Moyes told the world “Manchester United always improves in the second half of the season” we have regressed at a quite alarming rate. It has been an utter disaster. And the worst part is, as history tends to show, this may drag on for some time.

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2. MUFC: fragile, handle with care

There is only one reason I support David Moyes. It’s because this isn’t about David Moyes. This is about an identity. If this doesn’t work we’re just another club. We’re no different to City and Chelsea (actually we are different – we’re not as rich). We throw money at problems, we sack managers, we covet agents and we bitch and moan our way from August to May. We discard young players (more on that) and demand the impossible from the seniors. In this new world the enjoyment we get from our rivals’ misery far outweighs any hope we have for our own future. We sing stupid songs about Vincent Kompany (oh wait), we trumpet achievements from years gone by to allow for an abject present. In short if this doesn’t work, we have lost everything. This has to work. The principles that we’re fighting for have to win out. Youth, continuity, planning, composure – we have to show that these ideals have a place in the modern world. Ferguson was the link to the past. Now he’s gone the club is wobbling, trying to retain its identity under new management. It’s understandable. The club has suffered a heart attack with the departure of Ferguson (and the inexcusable summer transfer window). David Moyes your job is to help us recover. Because if you don’t, who will?

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3. View from the Glazers

This could have gone two ways. Moyes could have taken to it like a duck to water, born for this moment. Or it could have gone the other way. And it’s gone the other way. Oh it has gone the other way. But the facts remain: Moyes was chosen. Moyes was given a 6 year deal. And Moyes was given £37million to spend on a Chelsea outcast in the January window. He’s also been given a mandate to clear the squad and start moulding as he sees fit. If he’s building a new team – and the Glazers are on board with that – then it takes time. They either sack him now or give him at least two more years. There is nothing in between. The Glazers, Fergie, David Gill – they knew his CV. They knew the risk. The pain of watching Mourinho mastermind (and there is no other word – it was stunning the Chelsea performance at the Etihad) a victory over a city side who continually thrash us showed what we’re missing out on - a winning, committed football team fighting for an inspirational manager. Jose is wonderful. But that doesn’t mean he was for us. There were very rational reasons why Moyes got the job. Now more than ever we need to stay true to our principles. I can’t deny that this season has been an unmitigated disaster. But nor will I use this forum as an excuse to vent my frustration and list Moyes’ mistakes. There have been some well articulated pieces of that order but I think they’re poorly timed and too short-term. The fans have been unbelievable. The singing at 3-0 down at Stamford Bridge was unreal. This is a new time, a new era and it’s going to be a new team. All the Glazers will be hoping is that Moyes, though a slow starter, will take some stopping once he gets going.

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4.  “Denis, Denis - keep playing football.”

I was 10 years old and it was the opening day of the season 1992. Fergie was encouraging Irwin from the sides. I thought the above was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard and remember laughing with my dad about the nonsense that is ‘football-speak’. I now know what Fergie meant. As Kipling put it:

“If you can keep your head when all about you/ Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,/ If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,/ but make allowance for their doubting too…you’ll be a man my son!”

The last minute goals were not a coincidence under Ferguson. They were a combination of factors – one of which was the ability to retain an even temperament in the most desperate situations. Beckham’s corners in the Nou Camp, Giggs pass to Owen, Solskjaer’s touch and finish against Liverpool all came from moments of composure born out of an intense discipline. This season we have no discipline. Against Chelsea we gave away 21 free kicks. The second goal was a classic with Phil Jones making a non-sensical challenge on Willian who couldn’t have been ‘going nowhere’ faster had he been entering a black hole. From there we conceded the goal. At the end Vida got himself sent off. We can blame Dowd – but Vidic let the team down. To make matters worse Rafael went kamikaze into a two-footed lunge that ought to have resulted in a ban. Did we learn from our mistakes? Three days later we hosted Sunderland and conceded 20 free kicks. That none amounted to anything is irrelevant. Think of the stoppages in play, the territory conceded, the possession surrendered – it’s amateur. Under Ferguson we had an immaculate disciplinary record but we were also rock solid at the back. The two are linked. Players were committed to a greater cause – winning the game. So far this season we have accumulated 48 yellow cards. That’s nearly two a game. We have no discipline with and without the ball. And it’s hurting us. Because quite simply, the more we lose our heads, the more games we’ll lose.

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5. Luck off

Oh woe is we! Van Persie’s been injured! It was a deflection! Referee! City get all the luck! Some people actually think that. It’s insane. Every cliché about making your own luck, getting the luck you deserve, the luck evening itself out etc. is true. Luck is not a factor in our current predicament. The Eto’o deflection came after Phil Jones had his pants pulled down. The Charlie Adam deflection came from a needless free kick (conceded by Smalling) and a piece of flat-footed indecisiveness from Carrick. Luck had nothing to do with it. The Charlie Adam winner – two players closed down the same man. Against Fulham Vidic gave the ball away. Once that happened we were no longer masters of our own destiny. And that’s the point. You cannot control everything that happens on a football pitch. The game’s brilliance is rooted in its sheer randomness. The ball is round, it spins in funny directions. Players are human. They make inexplicable mistakes. Sometimes things just happen. And anyone who doesn’t understand that in life, not everything can go your way will die disappointed. But the things you can control, you have to control. It is paramount that you take control of the small details. On the pitch you can be organised, vocal, disciplined, well drilled, unified and courageous. But United under Moyes are not in control. They are spiralling wildly out of control. Not until Moyes owns the smaller details can we claim to warrant a bigger slice of luck. And the irony here is that when we’re back in control we won’t need luck. We’ll be masters of our own destiny, smugly looking down on the rest of the world knowing that we didn’t need luck. Luck is strictly for losers.

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6. Money doesn’t (always) mean success

The issue as to whether the squad needs major surgery is one thing (it doesn’t/ it didn’t). There’s also the deeper logistical issue of how exactly this regeneration is going to work. Firstly, has an influx (and exodus) of players over a short period ever resulted in a prolonged period of success? I think not. And what of the young players whose game time will shrink when the manager gives new players the minutes they need? It’s a dangerous game to play. Chelsea and City bought success but if anyone thinks we’ll spend what they spent in a two year period they haven’t been paying attention. What’s more, Chelsea and City haven’t produced a single young player since their respective regimes took over. They want short term results and spend hundreds of millions to achieve it. We will never, ever do that. Nor will we be able to persuade established stars to come to Old Trafford. We must stick to what we’ve always done – buy younger, hungrier, raw talent and develop them as part of a winning side. We must invest in the academy and bring more Adnans through (aside - James Wilson is a real prospect). These players need time. But the more players that come this summer, the more players will be affected and, eventually, leave. This is not what we’ve been working towards under the Glazers. I cannot understand why all of a sudden they would sanction such an overhaul. If they wanted to spend big money on big players then they should have appointed Mourinho. Or even better they should have given it Ferguson. The idea, I thought, was for Moyes to continue Ferguson’s work – and now he’s going to tear it up and start again. Odd. And then there’s the issue of which players he’s going to buy. Because so far we have spent £70million on two of the slowest players I have ever seen. It’s no wonder we’re going nowhere fast.

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7. Do not adjust your TV

How awful is the league table? I find myself squinting at the tele/ paper in an attempt to make it palatable reading. In previous years you could spin the table in such a way as to end up feeling better about life. ‘If we win x game and Chelsea lose y then we’ll be 5 points clear.’ Or if we win on Sunday we’ll only be 3 behind and still have to play them at ours’. Since August whatever valiant attempts you make to reimagine the league table it remains painful reading. There’s no spin that can save us from the ignominy of seventh place. It’s February, we are seventh. Do not adjust your TV.

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8. The man who wasn’t there.

Nemanja Vidic. How much do you really know about our captain? On the pitch he’s a monster. That man won us more games than any other player in the Ferguson era. Think of those dour one nils season after season post Ronaldo. Ball goes into the box, ball comes out of the box. Nemanja Vidic - a complete defender and a born winner. But off it, was he ever one of us? Whereas we felt we knew Keane, Robson, Beckham, Bruce inside out (for better or worse), Vidic has always been something of an enigma. Constantly linked with a move away (no smoke without fire), he seemed keen to keep his options open. And that’s hurt our new manager. The one player Moyes will have looked to in an attempt to hit the ground running would have been his captain. But he has not been the same player. Now I’d argue that the shape of Moyes’ United has not helped Vida. He’s been left isolated and not given the protection afforded to Terry (e.g.) who has been cajoled into the Indian Summer of his career. But Moyes clearly isn’t prepared to build around Vidic. Perhaps he’s not the man Moyes was hoping for (maybe the feeling’s mutual). Ferguson said at the start of the season that if we keep Vida fit “we’ll have a great chance.” So far he has played in 22 of our 36 games (14 out of 25 PL fixtures). That’s two more than Giggs and two less than perma-crocked Carrick. For the captain they’re not great stats. The feeling is that with Ferguson gone, Vida loosened his top button and took it all a little less seriously. He’s now moving on and will retire a wealthy man. I can’t begrudge him that. Under Ferguson very few got 10+ years. Giggs, Scholes, Keane, Rio, Robson, Neville. For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on Vidic doesn’t belong on that list. Quite possibly it’s because, unlike those players, when the going got tough, the tough got going.

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9. There’s a slow train coming

David Moyes please reveal your master plan and convince me it doesn’t consist of Mata on the left wing. He’s small and slow – not the physical requirements of your classic wide player. Moyes has joined an illustrious club with this acquisition. Just as when Ferguson signed Veron and Kagawa, Moyes has created a problem for himself. A player like Mata has to be integral to the side. He’s a schemer, a touch player who needs to be involved in and around the box (a bit like Kagawa but that’s a completely different/ exactly the same story). My thoughts on Rooney are well known but if Moyes wants to build his team around him it’s his call. But a front three of Rooney, Mata and RVP is slow. Like really slow. The myth that RVP and Rooney could perfectly co-exist was blown out of the water the minute Ferguson played Welbeck against Madrid. Now we’ve added another talented but immobile player into the mix. We have lost our ability to break, our power to get round the back (aside - Evra was a huge part of that and it’s a disgrace we didn’t sign a left back in the summer) and we lack (as we all know) quality in wide areas when Adnan doesn’t play. Juan Mata is not the answer. Ferguson always said Manchester United was a train that waited for no man. And he’s right. Just now it’s a really slow train. And it’s driving me round the bend.

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10. Balloon D’Or

It’s been another amazing month in the career of Wayne Rooney. Just when you think the zenith has been reached, he finds another peak to climb. It begs the question: is there anything this talisman can’t do? Not content with spectacular contributions in the league, Rooney also scored the goals that sent us to Wembley and into the fourth round of the FA Cup. People talk about Ronaldo and Cantona – but they’re distant memories. The present is Wayne Rooney. He scores at will, takes every game by the scruff of the neck, bullies defenders and always, always hits the target. His dynamic movement is matched only by his prolific output. If the rumours are to be believed that he’s about to earn £300k a week then it’s money well earned I say. And though talk of the captain’s armband may be premature, his unofficial role as team spokesperson is not. Wazza is our leader. Our leader is not that good.

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11. Is Ryan Giggs

Ryan Giggs was young once. He was 17 years old and he was lightening. To this day he is the quickest, most graceful footballer I have ever seen. It’s funny to think that after the initial buzz wore off, some United fans didn’t like him. They didn’t think he cared. His body language showed he wanted to be elsewhere. 94/95 he had a terrible season and people wanted rid. He clearly wanted to move to Milan anyway. Fast forward 75 years and here we are. Young players – even Ryan Giggs – go through tough times. They learn and evolve. It’s called growing up. It’s called Ronaldo. It’s called Darren Fletcher. It’s called Gary Pallister. How can fans of MUFC not have realised this by now? It is absolutely not OK to slag off young players. Young players should be exempt from criticism. They are learning their trade. The number of people I hear slaughtering Chris Smalling, Tom Cleverly, Jones and Welbeck is astonishing. Why? Because they aren’t Rio, Scholes, Keane and Van Nistelrooy? If you haven’t realised by now that, as part of a squad, these boys will contribute then I pity you. If you haven’t also clocked that they, you know, might improve over time, then you do not deserve to watch them play. You should be forever marked with a tattoo that says, “I slagged Daniel” as he scores the winner in the European Cup final. This season our young players have been badly let down by the senior pros. Welbeck, Jones, Adnan and Rafa should not have been taking penalties in a semi final. The responsibility shouldn’t have been with them. They are Man United players and have standards to maintain - yes. But the time to judge is not now. These players are our future. They need protecting. They need our support. Even Ryan Giggs was young once.

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11 points that already want a second stab at 2014

1) I am two people. One is calm, considered and appreciative of our current predicament. This person understands that all good things come to an end. And boy was it good. This person realises that it’s unfair to demand a seamless transition. After all you cannot worship a man like a God then move onto the next idol when he’s gone. It doesn’t work like that. So that person realises. But this split personality has another side. The Hyde. This person is depressed, angry and frustrated that his greatest love has been destroyed in 6 short but torturous months by David Moyes, his backroom staff, Ed Woodward and of course, the Glazers. I am two fans. One is reasonable. The other is angry. One understands. The other is despondent. Where one sees hope, the other decline. Since we last met there was a winning run (Shakhtar, Villa, West Ham, Hull and Norwich) followed by a quite stunning start to 2014 (3 defeats in 3 competitions). United themselves seem be the perfect match to my newly found bi-polar disposition. Their form has proven after all these years that the old adage really is true: you win some, you lose some. And that, gentlemen, is life. We just didn’t realise it before now.

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2) Moyes and the players have entered the vortex. They are in a vicious cycle, on the wrong end of a narrative that they will not escape until they recapture the glories of old. There has been a paradigm shift. Ferguson was a winner – everything he did was right. Winning begets winning. And unfortunately, losing begets losing. There is no middle ground. It’s a winner’s paradise out there and Moyes is lost, miles out at sea. And I’m not just talking the 3 games in 2014 – I’m talking about his whole career. There is no tangible success he can point to. No “feast your eyes on these bad boy medals” that reassure us he’s the man for the job. But then Moyes wasn’t appointed for his CV – he was appointed for the manager he could become. And that’s fine but he needs to win some games, win a trophy and turn this ship around quickly or he will never recover from the loser’s cycle he currently finds himself in. Compare and contrast the two men. Moyes losing his nut on the touchline is a man out of control. Ferguson doing it was a sign of control. Moyes deciding a player isn’t good enough is a farce, but with Ferguson it was a sign of decisiveness. Now to compare the two men is a) ridiculous on my part and b) unfair on Moyes, but the truth is the same for any man who wants to manage MUFC. Unless you are a winner you’ll lose every time.

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3) It is my absolute right to sit on the fence re Moyes. I refuse to believe he’s the archaic fool that he’s being made out to be I just wish he’s shown a whole lot more in the last 6 months to convince me he isn’t totally overwhelmed. I worry about standards. How high are they? Alarm bells rang when he arrived and immediately waxed lyrical about Ryan Giggs. Of course we adore Giggs – but has he not been playing for over 20 years? Surely Moyes was aware of his quality. Obviously not. Moyes hasn’t worked with world class players before. His standards are lower. Signing Fellaini smacked of a manager who didn’t understand the requirement of a Manchester United player. It’s all very well to say he was 8^th on the list – but why was he on the list at all? To listen to Phil Neville bang on about ex-Everton players as if they were gods is equally alarming. To hear him say ‘Felli’ can be a great box-to-box midfielder when a) not only is that patently untrue b) he’s never even showed that at Everton, smacks of a management team with the bar too low. Manchester United became dominant not because they are Manchester United. They became dominant because of the incredibly high standards set by the manager. He didn’t want to win the league. He wanted to win 10 leagues. He didn’t want to win in Europe, he wanted to dominate in Europe. He was loyal to his players but when a better option presented itself he didn’t think twice. These are the standards and I think Moyes has fallen into the trap of thinking that Manchester United will always win games and win trophies because they always have. That quite simply isn’t true. No team deserves to win. They only ever win what they deserve. Even the famous Man United.

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4) “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” In this brave new world nothing makes sense. United do not win 4 games on the trot, build momentum then lose at home to Spurs on New Year’s Day. That just doesn’t happen. Unfortunately we are constantly experiencing thing that are not ‘supposed’ to happen. We don’t lose 3 on the bounce. We don’t lose in the third round of the cup. We don’t look like a total bunch of strangers in a semi final. But this is the transition. We are discovering new and weird things about one another. We are recalibrating and learning about ourselves all over again. At times it’s torture. But it’s a challenge. Having absorbed (and by absorbed I mean kicked and screamed like a toddler in meltdown for a week) the Spurs defeat I wasn’t overly surprised or upset by the subsequent defeats. If we’re going to come 5^th, then we may as well come 15^th. If we aren’t going to win the cup, then the third round is as good a round as any to go out. People talk about par for the course: we should be getting to a semi final and coming top four. That is wrong. We should be winning the league and the cup. That is what we aspire to. And if David Moyes has a vision to get us back onto that path over a 5 year period then I'm with him come what may. If he doesn't then he's in the wrong job. There are so many questions waiting to be answered. Why did Moyes do this, why did he do that, who is Ed Woodward, where is Ed Woodward, why is Ed Woodward – but these are to obsess over detail. There is absolutely no comfort in the detail right now. In truth we need only one question answering. Is David Moyes the man for the job? And for better or worse, only the fullness of time can answer that.

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5) We do miss Paul Scholes. Carrick was magnificent last season but let’s not forget Scholes’s early season contributions. Without him (and a fit Carrick) we move the ball so slowly. We lack either the confidence or quality to go for the jugular. Our best moments have come with a directness and confidence to commit men into the box. At Villa, against West Ham and for 15 minutes against Spurs we were electric. But other than that we have become hideously predictable. That is the worst thing I can say. We are totally and utterly predictable. The players are trying to play the Ferguson way but with David Moyes as manager. That can’t work. Whatever it takes, Moyes needs to get the players dancing to his tune. If it’s new players he needs, new coaches, new tactics, new everything then he has to go for it. But he’d better change the record because right now we’re dancing to a tune everyone has heard a thousand times before. In all honesty, even our opponents know the words.

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6) The panic is all consuming. I am not above a good tantrum and a complete meltdown. The press are (understandably) full of it. The knives are out. But we must remain calm. If Moyes loses his nerve and signs players he doesn’t believe in (which is exactly what happened with Fellaini) then we won’t come back. If the board panic and get rid of Moyes (which there is absolutely zero chance of happening) we’ll be finished. We need to take our time, relax and stick to the plan. Talk of moving on 12 players and bringing in (presumably) the same number is a farce. There is no evidence in the history of football for this model producing success. The top clubs build. They invest in youth, let them make mistakes, sprinkle the core of the side with stardust and give them time to gel, to become a unit. Liverpool under Dalglish (first time) stopped buying young players (second time he just bought crap players – but they still love him. He has done more to ruin that club than any other man but they worship him. It’s weird). They let the team grow old. Souness came in and tried to change too much too soon. That was his single biggest mistake. Look at Spurs signing seven players from all over the world. How could that ever be expected to work? If you are a very successful side you can absorb 3/4 new players. They’ll be given time to work out what it’s all about and eventually find their way into the side. But anything more than that just cannot work. This United squad needs adding to – it does not need culling. You never turn down world class players – but you can count on one hand those that fit into that bracket. We have some very good players, one world class player (RVP) and one potential world class player (Adnan). There are some players who are too sure of first team football and some not getting enough. It would be wrong to say we don’t need to add to the squad but it would be suicide to panic.

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7) Young players are not necessarily those under the age of 21. Young players can be as ‘old’ as 25. It’s to do with experience and physical development as much as age. I have never been Tom Cleverley’s biggest fan but now is not the time to get on his back and claim that because he’s 24 he should be doing better. This is only his 2^nd full season of Premiership football. He made his breakthrough in 2011 before missing 6 months of the season with injury. He played last season making this his 2^nd full season. Whether he’s 19 or 23 this is still his 2^nd season. So to put pressure on him because of his birth certificate is a farce. He is a young, inexperienced player and watching him now – he’s desperate for a rest. He is mentally exhausted and making countless basic errors. The mistake and foul against Sunderland was an unfortunate example of that. He’d switched off in the middle of the park then compounded the error with a tired and poor decision in the box. A fit and fresh Cleverley would not make that mistake. He may not be a world beater but now is not the time to judge him. Fletcher and Jones will take his place in coming weeks and though he might not thank Moyes for it now, no one will be more grateful in the long run than TC23.

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8) Anybody who thinks Ferguson attending games has a bearing on anything is an idiot.

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9) You know you’re in trouble when the January window takes on unprecedented importance. The situation we are in is due solely to the lack of activity in the summer. This is not the result of a Glazer-induced trend. People criticising the Glazers (which I fully understand) saying that they’ve taken too much money out (they have) and not put enough in (also true) are perhaps missing a key point. Let me ask this question: if the Glazers had told Fergie (post-Ronaldo) that money is unlimited, go nuts, do you think we’d have signed the world’s best players? How different do you think the squad would be to the one we currently have? I’d argue not very. MUFC have always struggled to attract (and retain) Europe’s top talent. They realised as soon as Abramovich came along that developing young talent was the best bet to securing long term success. In 2014 there are 10 Abramoviches while Madrid, Barca and Munich have the rich pickings of their respective leagues. We will not win a transfer war however much we are prepared to spend. I am not a Glazer apologist but then nor is Gary Neville who has been banging this drum for years. The best teams develop their own. Yes it needs to be augmented with world class signings but if you think money is the sole reason we have struggled in the transfer market, then more fool you.

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10) Darren Fletcher – the bright spot. It’s hard to under-state how incredibly unlucky both he and United have been. When he broke into the team he looked like a good runner with a big game temperament. Perfect to play in a three against Arsenal or in Europe. He didn’t look like a truly top midfielder. In fact, for a while, he didn’t look like a footballer. In 2006 his game went up a level. Competition for places was fierce but he did not shirk the challenge. In 2008 when he’d missed out on a place in the UCL final his game went up another level. It was then we started to see a midfield maestro. Comfortable in front of the back four, or further up the pitch, what he lacked in skill he made up for in temperament and energy while being a terribly under-rated passer of the ball. His performances that season were best epitomised by his red card at Arsenal in the semi final 2^nd leg. 4-0 up on aggregate with a few minutes to go, Fletcher who had kept Cesc quiet all night, executed the most perfectly timed tackle to prevent a consolation goal, only to find himself on the end of a red card. Out of the final he didn’t cry, he didn’t harangue the ref and he didn’t moan. He took it like a man. His performances the following season were of an incredibly high standard with a high point in Milan. Then his illness kicked in bringing his career to a shuddering halt. When he came back it was his first game in just under a year. In fact this was only his 12^th game since Christmas 2010. 3 years. On discovering his operations were successful the club made a conscious decision to stick by him. They feel they have a quality player back in the squad. If this is the real thing then Moyes will be vindicated for doing what’s right by the club. As a player he is no Bryan Robson but, assuming his recovery is permanent, Fletcher will be the next United captain. The club have taken a risk – but when it’s one of your own, it’s a risk worth taking.

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11) Is Ryan Giggs. I just wonder if maybe his new coaching role and business interests are catching up with him. For the very first time he has looked half a yard off the pace. Could the life of Ryan as we know it be coming to an end?

11 points that feel the new Anchorman film has rather snuck up on us

1. Last Christmas I gave you my heart/ but the very next year you gave it…to David Moyes. Oh last Christmas - how I long for thee. Or the Christmas before. Or the one before. Or any of the past 20+ Christmases. Remember how it was? Last season we drew at Swansea and it was a disaster. Last Christmas we took 22 points from the 24 available during the festive season. Last season we went 9 points clear. This season good tidings we do not bring. December is usually our month. It is a time of rejoicing (drinking), celebrating (drinking) and good cheer (drinking). It is also the time when United put their foot down, go up through the gears and to the top of the table. Typically we’d emerge New Year’s Day with a hangover, 3 pounds overweight but a few points clear at the top. Not this year. This year we have descended hard and fast into the ranks of the mere mortals. And it hurts. Since we last met there has been the high (Arsenal) and the lows (Cardiff, Spurs, Everton and Newcastle). We’ve won in Europe but not against much. 2013 can’t end fast enough. What a difference a year makes.

2. We were all prepared for the transition. We knew we wouldn’t be lifting metal in May. But this is so much more than that. This is having everything you thought you knew shredded into lies and mistruths right before your eyes. This is getting to heaven and finding out that God is a Liverpool fan. This isn’t about the odd defeat. This is about realising that everything you held true has gone. It is a waste of everyone’s time for me to sit here and tear into David Moyes. To micro-analyse his individual mistakes with my rudimentary thoughts on formation, tactics and other such nonsense. That is pointless. Mistakes were always going to be made. But it’s astonishing how little prepared he was for the job. Given he knew months ago he was taking over I assumed the “I couldn’t start before July 1” line was a cover story to avoid engaging Everton’s wick. Now I’m not so sure. Alarm bells were ringing when he admitted to never having seen Kagawa play and when he selected an aging, negative side for those tragic opening fixtures. He’s been playing catch up ever since. The players are struggling to adapt. They are professional but they are uninspired. They are not stupid. Bar the odd performance (against weak sides such as Norwich, fulham and Leverkusen), they have regularly been second best. Against Arsenal they ceded possession to the better footballing side. Alarm bells will have been ringing for some time. The false dawn of the Arsenal victory was achieved at the cost of Carrick and Van Persie ahead of the busiest time of the season. That was cruel – but inevitable. When it rains it pours. Especially in Manchester.

3. Moyes would argue that this is not a fair test. This is not his team. This is Ferguson’s team and his job is not to manage someone else’s side, but to create his own. That takes time. It requires 2 or 3 transfer windows to stamp your authority on the squad. Which makes the summer dealings even more bizarre. Had Moyes spent wisely we would not be in this position. Look at the impact Ozil has made at Arsenal. They would feasibly not be in the top 4 without that signing. Top players have that galvanizing effect. Think Cantona, think Van Persie. Moyes inherited a good squad. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It needed a Scholes replacement (and a Rio replacement) but it was a good squad. But if you don’t move forward you move backwards – there is no in between. Moyes and Woodward dallying and procrastinating hurt us – and will continue to do so throughout the season. It was a negative seed with roots that neither spread nor flower; they wither and rot. Much like our season. Carrick’s injury has accelerated the process and shown just how desperate that transfer window was. And now January is upon us Moyes finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place. He has to spend. This squad without Scholes and with Fellaini cannot push for top 4 without strengthening. But as we are constantly told (by our own club), January is not the time to do business. Moyes is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. January is shaping up to be much like the summer. Just a lot colder, a lot darker and a lot, lot more depressing.

4. Moyes is like a beleaguered kid at the fair. He’s playing that whack-a-mole game but he just can’t crack it. Every time he hits one mole another pops up. Everyone knows we are weak in centre mid. Slowly people have realised we are struggling in wide areas (at least Adnan has come through – Christ thank the lord for Adnan). But now we have a big problem at centre half. Vidic looks terribly immobile. Rio who was magnificent last year looks finished and Moyes’s refusal to play Evans for the first month of the season has left him bereft of confidence. Smalling and Jones have been played at right back and in midfield respectively leaving us with a big issue. Against Spurs we looked awfully slow and flat-footed. I rate all our centre halves yet we are defending badly. We have no pace, we’re giving away needless fouls and conceding from the subsequent set pieces. We are too deep and not defending as a unit. All the careful succession planning Ferguson put in place with Evans and Jones seems to have been thrown out the window. No single player has won us more dire 1-0 victories than Nemanja Vidic in the past 25 years. His decline could not have come at a worse time. Moyes needs to add a 25 year old world class centre half to his ever growing shopping list. Or Distin.  

5. Why is Rafael not playing? And I mean playing every single minute of every single game. Did you know that at the weekend no team attempted fewer forward passes than MUFC?  And by quite some distance. Carrick’s importance to this side cannot be over-stated – but nor can forward-minded, thrill seeking full backs such as Rafael Da Silva. He is a gem. Moyes needs to free him if he’s serious about moving forwards.

6. Since the day I attended my first away game I’ve been immensely proud of the originality of our songs. A sense of humour, a love of melody and a nod to history – the key ingredients to our greatest terrace chants. Of course you cannot know what will and won’t take off – but a good mix of quality and quantity mean that we are the envy of many a match going fan. But we’re in danger of letting ourselves down. A song that was dedicated to a legend like Nicky Butt should be used only for the legend that is Nicky Butt. The morons that sang Ashley, Ashley Young are dead to me. Likewise those that sing it for Januzaj. I like the new Adnan song (lotto ad) but not the Van Der Sar Man rehash. It’s not original. I detest the Kagawa song. Firstly, that tune is used by every club in the country. Secondly, it’s racist. I admit to singing it initially, finding it amusing. Then I realised that it’s not ok just because it’s in song form. We can do better. I am, of course author/ co-author of some of the most fantastically awful United songs in history. Jaap Stam (Roxanne), We’ve Got Dong Fhanzou (Heavy D), Darron Gibson (Paparazzi), Darron Gibson (Scarborough Fair), The hills are alive with Diego Forlan, Wayne Rooney do you know what he’s worth (Belinda Carlisle) – these may not be terrace classics (yet), but they are at least original. I’d prefer terrible and original to chants that any club could conceivably call their own. Christ knows we need something to entertain us.

7. Or should this be point 25? Valencia’s foul then subsequent lapse of concentration in the Everton game summed up everything that is bad about United under Moyes. Forget that Valencia has seemingly given up trying to play football – that is not his first lapse in concentration this year (City). All season long we’ve been giving away stupid free kicks and conceding goals from set pieces (City, Liverpool, Stoke, Southampton, Cardiff, Spurs, Everton). It’s amateur. We all thought the one thing Moyes wouldn’t accept was a drop in professional standards. But the Cardiff goal in the 89^th minute, the Everton goal in the 86^th, the Kyle Walker free kick – these are the things that’ll kill you. For all the talk of formations, transfers and systems the simple truth remains – if we did the basics well we wouldn’t be 9^th.

8. Football is stupid. I could not connect the praise Rooney received post -Arsenal with his actual performance. His effort couldn’t be faulted and he stamped his personality all over the game, but at no stage did he match Van Persie’s quality. Against Cardiff and Everton he had the chance to win the game but failed to find the target on both occasions. The English media adore rooney. That’s fair enough, everyone needs a hero but every time I see RVP I see an actual world class player. Always turning and majestic on the ball he so often produces match wining moments. Without him at Cardiff and spurs we were never winning those games. To see Moyes rush him back for the Newcastle game smacked of desperation. He is our golden ticket – he has to be cared for. He is one of the top players in Europe. Look after him and he’ll look after us.

9. Coaches do not make or break a football club. Mike Phelan’s shorts were not responsible for our twentieth title. Meulensteen leaving is not the reason we lost two consecutive home games. But coaches can give you an insight into goings on behind the scenes. Two things happened this week. One was Phil Neville claiming that Duncan Ferguson had the potential to be “up there with Yorke, Shearer, Cole and Van Nistelrooy as one of the very best.” The other was Steve Round citing the Leverkusen win as evidence that we can go all the way in Europe. Let’s start with P Nev. I adore the man. But that is utter bullshit. I liked Big Dunc and if I’d been an Everton fan I’d have worshipped him. But he was not a top class player. Not even injury free. He was a good player at the right club. That is it. When Kiddo suggested John Hartson to the board Ferguson basically sacked him. But maybe Moyes agrees with Phil. Maybe Steve Round agrees. Maybe they all sit around and agree. That’s what terrifies me. We know there’s rebuilding work to be done and talent to be identified. That’s fine. But is the current management the people to do it? All evidence so far suggests not. And talking of evidence: Steve Round if you’ve seen any other European games you’ll know that Leverkusen are one of the weakest sides in the tournament. It was a good result but it proved nothing. As proven by all subsequent results and performances.

10. I felt for Moyes after Everton. (And not just because our downward spiral is being emphatically highlighted by their spectacular upward trajectory. Though that is pitiful for all concerned.) Being booed by fans he’d served for 11 years, having built a club they could be proud of must hurt. He has to be given credit for what’s going on at Everton. Without him Howard, Jagielka, Baines, Coleman, Pienaar, Mirallas etc do not develop into a top team. Yes Martinez has clearly given them something extra – no one can deny that. But Martinez could not have done what Moyes did all those years ago. To take Everton out of the doldrums and put them above Liverpool with limited resources is a laudable achievement. Football is increasingly tribal and ill tempered. It’s time for Everton fans to rise above it and acknowledge the sheer dedication he gave that club. And if anyone’s going to slag him off, it really ought to be us.

11. Is Ryan Giggs. “The smile diffident, the eyes determined” (the great - and criminally mistreated - Barry Davies). That was the true Giggs in Class of 92. Funny and smart, we saw a leader with a fierce determination lurking behind those dead eyes. A one-off. No saint but a winner. I’ve never been more certain that he’ll be the next MUFC manager. It just might be a lot sooner than even he thinks.

11 points that have been meaning to be written for a few days

1) Welcome to winter. Traditionally a time of comfort for United fans. Maybe we’re masochists and like the cold. Or maybe we’re used to watching our team pick up points and climb the table. But now as November begins in earnest we find ourselves in unchartered territory. Put it like this: if we are to go on a run it’ll have to be a good one. Since I last wrote we drew in Dhonestk, beat Sunderland, had a torturous international break, threw away points against Southampton, beat stoke (somehow), progressed in the league cup and beat an anaemic Fulham side at Craven Cottage. It’s been a head scratching time. Signs of a turnaround are there but two questions remain: 1) what has the huge dip in form been all about and 2) are we really on the rise? To answer the first question is to go over old ground. Point 2 is what we all really want to know. And with games against Sociedad and Arsenal and trips to Cardiff and Leverkusen to come in November we’ll get our answer soon enough.

2) I’m going to contradict myself now. Anyone expecting performances to come before results is misguided. Think back to dark times and remember how we came through them. We lost 5-0 at Newcastle, 6-3 at Southampton then 2-1 home to Chelsea in 1996. It was the first time we’d ever lost three Prem games on the bounce. How did we react? With a 1-0 win over arsenal (Winterburn og). What about the 6-1 defeat to City in 2011? Did we respond with swashbuckling,  cavalier football? Er no. 1-0 at Everton, 1-0 at Swansea, 2-0 at QPR, 1-0 at Villa – it was painful at times. But we went back to basics to get the results that gave way to more expansive performances. What about the autumn of 2001 having lost famously to Bolton, Liverpool, Arsenal, Newcastle and Chelsea (BLANC – but then west ham ruined it with Defoe scoring the only goal in a 1-0 win at OT)? How did we end up top of the league in January? 1-0 at Middlesborough, 2-0 at Everton etc etc. At Man United we are obsessed with attacking football. Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie will always get the headlines. But unless you can keep a clean sheet, defend as if your lives depend on it, the front players will never get a chance to shine. Rooney’s consolation goal and performance at City prove that. It’s all for nothing if you cannot grind out a 1-0 forgettable win at home to Southampton. Those victories were as much a part of the ferguson era as the last minute comebacks we all loved so much. Dire victories when the team didn’t get out of first gear - but nor did it have to. This season we haven’t had any of them. We’re working very hard for our rewards. The win at Stoke was miraculous given the nature of our defending. The back four was too deep, the midfield was too high, unable to press and the ball was played into our box at will. We got lucky. Against Southampton we paid a heavy price for not killing the game off. But in reality that should have been another dull 1-0 win we’d all have forgotten about the second we left the pub.

3) So the contradiction. Based on the above logic, our past few results should indicate that a significant upturn in form is just around the corner, yes? Results are there, form is next surely? Right? Sorry to be miserable but not just yet. We have big problems at home. The players don’t know how to defend and the back four looks like they’ve never met before. I’d argue Arsenal on Sunday has come at the worst time. When Ferguson retired, the club was always going to go into shock. And it’s going to take a lot more than our annual win at Fulham to convince me that the famous Man United are back.

4) I couldn’t quote any of what Ferguson said on Friday night. Not because I wouldn’t do it justice (I wouldn’t) but because it all washed over me with the warmth of the sun’s rays. It was nice. Pleasing. I enjoyed it. The book itself is entirely uncontroversial with nothing we haven’t heard before. The pickle Liverpool FC and the press got themselves in made me laugh. It amuses me how the most successful manager says something and the world rushes to disagree with him. It was too obvious. The churlish remarks from the press who always seem to think they know better and that it’s all very silly really – isn’t Ferguson just a little senile – were inevitable. In this country anyone with a differing opinion is an idiot. But are there not countless examples of genius who pushed back on accepted wisdom and created something beautiful out of a grand old mess? Didn’t Ferguson make a career of this? Yet the proof of his unparalleled and quite astonishing success was deemed irrelevant. What mattered was what they thought. Anyone who dared to insist on a different narrative to one that had steven gerrard as one of the best ever players was a lunatic. Maybe ferguson is wrong (he admitted he was in a minority) but isn’t it instructive the way he’s looking at the game? Instead of trotting out generic truths he is looking, analysing, making his own mind up, with a clear vision of how he wanted his teams to play and what sort of player was required to achieve that. In this country players like Gerrard and Rooney are feted for their moments of brilliance while the sheer monotony of Scholes’ casual brilliance is a cause for debate. Gerrard’s highlights reel is as good as any to have played in this country. But he hasn’t won the trophies of other top players – yet it’s blasphemy to criticise. In the book Ferguson clearly explains that he may not always have been right, but he was always sure of his own mind and, most importantly, was never afraid to act. It was about management, control, vision and leadership. It was not about agreeing with everyone, pleasing anyone and conforming to accepted norms. Those are not the qualities of a winner. And when the fat lady sung, there was only one person who ended on top.

5) Normally, right about now, at this point, here just here we’d talk about Shinji. We might wonder at the injustice of life that a player so good can play so little part in his side’s fortunes. Or we’d say that it’s all very well what you did at Dortmund but there’s been no hint of that form since signing for United whatever anyone wants to believe. But we’re not going into that – because it’s sort of all become strangely irrelevant. Because now we’re going to talk about Adnan. Fulham was the first time I’d seen him up close and personal. He is wonderful. It’s unhelpful to compare him with the greats after five games but I cannot resist marvelling at his balance just as we did with Giggs all those years ago. He doesn’t have Giggs pace and I’m loath to place him on a pedestal just yet (I call it the O’Shambles Effect – it’s chronic and once contracted a young player has no chance. Symptoms are inability to jump or tackle but have a disproportionately wonderful song) but he’s got it. And as sorry as I am for Shinji (lovely player) he just doesn’t stand a chance. Adnan is just so exciting.

6) It was clear from the first that Marouane was a little short (on quality). But I today I understand for the first time why Moyes panicked and bought him. (No not because Adnan needs a bodyguard.) Marouane is part of a numbers game. Tonight we face Sociedad and, without Evans and Carrick we’re struggling for players. Vida won’t play twice in 3 days and with Rafael injured jones and smalling will play in the back four. That leaves us literally with no one in midfield. With scholes retiring, Fletcher not returning and Anderson frozen out our only options without marouane are carrick cleverly and jones. At 11pm on transfer deadline day having had a bid for every other midfielder in Europe rejected Moyes was left with a stark choice. To Marouane or not to Marouane? That was the question.

7) There’s talk that ORVP isn’t happy. That’s he’s not electric anymore.  The smile has gone! He misses Fergie! Well don’t we all? Don’t let them get in your heads. The enemy is planting seeds of doubts – waiting for us to implode. I absolutely refuse to believe that Moyes has antagonised his best player and now RVP wants out. Here is a man that worked hard to secure a move to MUFC. Is he really going to turn his back on a dream move (he could have gone to any club in Europe last summer don’t forget) because of a training session here or there? He is not that guy. As for body language – do not think you know him. For years United fans thought that Giggs didn’t care and that Heinze would die in a United shirt. You don’t know what you don’t know. All strikers are the same. When they’re not scoring, when they’re not winning and when other players are hogging the headlines they’re not happy. Would we want it any other way?

8) It’s a funny old league this year. I tried not to laugh too hard at Chelsea losing or Joe Hart’s brain freeze, because we’re just as hilarious. The Stoke game has haunted me. The defending for Southampton’s corner – the horror, the horror! The league is like a snow dome, shaken but not yet settled. With Ferguson retiring and both City and Chelsea changing managers it’s no surprise. What’s more, the new television deal and FFP are starting to have an effect (though long term remains questionable). In previous years any team that had a want away star player would have to sell. Not this summer. Everyone is rich. But because of FFP (and incompetence on our part) the top clubs were unable to sign the world’s best. With other teams flush with cash and signing the next best things the gap between the top 4 and the rest shrank. It’s really no surprise to see Everton up there – they have a very good team (built by Moyes whatever revisionist Everton fans want you to believe) and an actual squad. Five years ago they could have never afforded that. The result is a league table that reads like 1985. It will take a while. I wouldn’t get carried away with United beating Norwich and Fulham – I think there are more lowlights to come. But I do think that if any team gets close to thirty points from their last ten games they will win the league. In 93 we won our last 7 and it was enough. This time around absolutely anyone can win it but as with all great comedy, it’s all about the timing.

9) There’s a myth. Namely that in this league there are big games and there are small(er) games. Note the pundits queuing up to remind us that Arsenal haven’t played any big games yet. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong. There are 38 big games with 3 points at stake in each. The team that gets towards 90 points is likely to win the league. Rocket science! Arsenal could lose home and away to united and Chelsea but win the league by ten points. It’s a complete nonsense to stress greater importance on games between ‘big clubs’. It’s important to go on a run of victories, to treat every game as a chance for three vital points. This is where Moyes comes under scrutiny. Everton were renowned for following a tremendous result at home with an inexplicable and illogical loss to Villa or West Brom (no idea if that actually happened). One step forward, two steps back. David Moyes needs to understand that the league is won over thirty eight long weeks of Premiership football – not games against Arsenal and Chelsea alone. We won’t go back over squad mismanagement but moving forward form players must play and the squad trusted to do its job. There is no such thing as a small game.

10) I actually think he’s going to go hell for leather in the January window. Whatever happens the club cannot afford to not spend, mis-spend or over-spend in another transfer window. Too much damage was done this summer to think we can go through it all again.

11) Is Ryan Giggs – and that Sociedad performance was wonderful. But for the first time we have a young player who may actually take his place. I’m trying so hard to keep my knickers on but, Adnan, I do like you.