Friday, 6 June 2014

11 points for anyone who doesn't care where Rooney plays for England

1. In love, in fear, in hate, in tears

And breathe. Well that was eventful wasn’t it? 2013/14 – so bad it was funny. Sort of. Since we last spoke we’ve had three managers: the inept and unfortunate David Moyes (unfortunate for being awarded a job he neither deserved nor applied for), the iconic Ryan Giggs (more on that) and now the absent, but instantly likeable, Louis Van Gaal. One manager in 26.5 years. Three in three weeks. The stats have taken one hell of a beating. We wondered how the club would react to the loss of Ferguson. This season we got our answer. The man’s shadow loomed over Old Trafford with every crushing defeat. Every player performed at 50% in his absence, some apparently unable to perform such menial tasks as tying their shoelaces without the great man. Word is even the food in the canteen deteriorated without him. The club’s in crisis! The Moyes effect? Possibly. The Ferguson effect? Definitely. This isn't uncommon in popular culture. The Sopranos begins shortly after the death of  Johnny Boy Soprano. His son Tony is now running the family business, struggling to cope with the pressures of the modern world, trying to emerge from his father's shadow. The spectre of his father hangs over him like Banquo. Johnny Boy is everywhere. Johnny Boy is nowhere. Ferguson is everywhere. Ferguson is nowhere. The club was in mourning this season. They lamented the loss of the boss. Their Steve Jobs, their Don Corleone, their Alex Ferguson. But such institutions do not crumble and fade. They have a choice. They can use their resources, their traditions, the pull of history and they can embrace the future. They can take chances, they can follow their beliefs, and fulfil their philosophies – they can rise again. And we will. The appointment of LVG is the right move. A forward thinking, progressive coach, renowned for his work with young players, this is the man Ferguson would never have appointed. This is the rival. Good. Who knows how he’ll pan out in terms of trophies, but the impact he’ll have on our young players will be immeasurable. In my pre-season piece I made one prediction, “we will be OK.” I was very nearly wrong. But perversely, I enjoyed this season. History unfolded before our eyes. Now I’m ready for normal service to resume. It won’t be instant but it will happen eventually. History demands it. So, not learning from last year's nearly fatal mistake, here’s another prediction: Man United will never die.

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2. “You can’t always get what you want/
 But if you try sometimes you’ll get what you need."

The Rolling Stones

Steve Bruce was not a very sexy signing. We acquired him from Norwich in 1987 for £800,000 when he was approaching his 28th birthday. Eyebrows were raised further when Ferguson shipped out Old Trafford favourite Paul McGrath. Bruce was hardly a spring chicken, had achieved no international recognition and could list few notable achievements on his C.V. He was Steve Bruce. He had a broken nose, was a good passer of the ball, bit slow on the turn but never missed a game, or a header. He was a leader. When he signed he told the watching world he’d have walked to Old Trafford if he had to. Nine years later, club captain Bruce had overseen our most successful period since Busby and will be remembered as one half of the greatest centre back pairings in English football. When we go into the transfer market this summer we need quality. Of that there’s no doubt. But more than that we need players willing to crawl to Old Trafford just to get a game. Big money signings who don’t want to be there do not work. Anyone who’s read Andy Mitten’s Glory Glory Man United (if you haven’t you should) will have noted how honest Blomqvist and Cruyff were. They didn’t want to be there. Cruyff’s father had just been forced out of Barca meaning Jordi  had to leave and Blomqvist had his heart broken at his dream club Milan. Veron would never have left Lazio had it not been for a passport scandal. He did not want to be in Manchester. We shouldn’t take it personally. But we should take it seriously. Young, hungry players, from Britain and beyond will form the basis of our success. Anyone sat at home checking Twitter five times a time hoping to sign Barca or Bayern’s rejects is misguided. We have to produce our own, we have to get more from our players than we have any right to expect and we have to start now.

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3. So long tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

Growing old isn’t fair. Watching Rio and Vida at Southampton we saw two men past their prime, in a struggling side, their bodies no longer able to do what their brains were asking. The lasting image of two old warhorses in need of putting down is too easy to dwell on. It’s easy to consign them to the past thinking we’re better off without them. It isn’t true. They must be remembered at their peak when they took their team to greater heights than we dared to dream. Only Ronaldo and Cantona won more games single-handedly than the brilliant Vidic. His performance in Moscow is among the finest I’ve ever seen from any United player. He had the ultimate quality: when he played I never felt we’d lose. I first noticed Rio in 1999. He was at the heart of a West Ham defence that conceded seven at Old Trafford. Rio was a mess. He wanted too much time on the ball and couldn’t head it. He had talent but looked like a boy in a man’s world. How he changed. Getting away from the comforts of his home club and into the wilderness of Yorkshire – no place for a Southern Softy – was the best thing he could have done. He started to look a player. After the disastrous defensive displays of 01/02 Rio was brought in as part of a revamped back four. The anecdote he tells about his first training session is known but worth retelling. He receives the ball from the keeper and plays it to Gary Nev at full back. He receives an instant bollocking from Keane. You’re at United now, the easy pass won’t do. Your game must have risk – and if you’re not good enough you’re not good enough. Don’t hide. Rio’s mind was blown. He had to step up. And he did. The Rio that was torn apart by Raul (1st leg) and Ronaldo (2nd leg) did not stay for long. By 2006 he was the real deal. He’d stepped out of the Keane and RVN shadow and became a leader. He was at the heart of the new spirit that had engulfed the United dressing room. Together with Vidic he became among the best in United and English football history. The typical heroic English centre half is all blocks, lunges, blood and guts. Rio was different. Always a step ahead of his opponent, he dictated from the back and never gave the ball away. His brilliant positional sense and football brain explain why he went two years (2009-2011) without receiving a yellow card. These were golden times. En route to becoming European champions in 2008 we conceded a miserly 6 goals including two clean sheets against Barcelona. In fact, with Rio as captain, United went three full years undefeated away from home in Europe (April 2007 to April 2010). Defensive master classes in Barcelona, Rome, Porto and Chelsea allowed us to reach three European cup finals in four years. In the midst of it all it was hard to realise how good we had it. We know now. I don’t know Rio - and the stories this year haven’t been particularly encouraging – but I’m willing to give anyone who dedicates their life to MUFC the benefit of the doubt. The Rio I know is a guy who had enormous potential, came from humble beginnings and left the home comfort of East London to further himself in the foreign lands of Leeds and Manchester. The Rio I know is a guy who handled himself with great dignity in the midst of a race scandal, who was barred from playing for his country because the captain racially abused his brother. I see a guy who made (big) mistakes, who wasn’t from Manchester, but who made it his home. That’s the Rio I know. Only the very best get more than 10 years at MUFC. And he was the very best. And yes, he may have had a Cockney accent, worn stupid caps, said ‘brap’ and sported those ridiculous corn rows but he was still one of us. Rio, Rio he was a red you know.

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4. If Moyes falls in the woods and no one’s there…

You’ll notice we’re at point 4 and I’m just getting onto David Moyes. It’s funny how quickly I’ve moved on from the Chosen One. It’s not his fault he was so out of his depth – nothing on his CV suggested he was in any way qualified for that job. That United got it so wrong will go down as one of the most spectacular failures in the history of sport. Moyes, to my mind, has already been consigned to the past. It feels an age since I was in the stands watching a team I didn’t recognise produce some of the most astonishingly awful performances in the history of top level football. It’s not even worth using this forum to castigate Moyes – it’s simply not his fault. But to say he was treated badly is hard to take. He was given a job he didn’t deserve, proved pretty quickly that he was way out of his depth, managed to survive nine horrendous months and had the audacity to a) ignore every piece of Ferguson’s advice and b) blame all the players for what was going wrong. He was genuinely looking to sell up to ten players this summer. It’s astonishing how badly he did. At the start of the season I said: “he’ll be given time”. Thank the lord I was wrong. Moyes out.

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5. The Glazers make an ass of you and me

When Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement the world was shocked. We knew it had to end one day and, you’d have thought, so would the Glazers. Surely our beloved owners would be prepared. After all, Ferguson was not only the club’s most important asset he was also, you know, old. Old people retire. Even in this day and age old people retire – it’s astonishing isn’t it? Over the past 8 years I’ve said numerous times ‘the Glazers may be many things, but they’re not incompetent’. Hmmm. The facts aren’t particularly encouraging. After years of planning they saw Ferguson and Gill leave on the same day and replaced them with Woodward, Moyes, and a squad on its last legs. But we all make mistakes right? The important thing is to learn from them. We have always said, the Glazers know what they’re doing – we just may not like what they’re doing. Now I’m not even sure of that. Down in the money league, down in the actual league, botched every major succession at the club including playing and non-playing staff we now find ourselves in a total mess. Our commercial success has been the envy of the sporting world for years now. So it’s no surprise to see other clubs replicating it. Soon they’ll catch up and overtake us. City’s revenue is growing all the time and will continue to do so as long as the football money bubble expands. Our future is less certain. The Glazers have now gone cap in hand to LVG, begging him to get us back into the Champions League desperate for the revenue that comes with it. If he succeeds all’s well that ends well. If he doesn’t the Moyes blip will quickly become the Glazers farce – and there’ll be no  easy way back.

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6. “It’s good to be in a thing from the ground floor.”

Tony Soprano

Nobody wanted to be the man to take over from Ferguson. But the man who took over from the man who took over from Ferguson – now that’s an interesting proposition. With the club on its knees, we’re desperate for a hero. Step forward Luis Van Gaal. Aged 62, with a C.V. the envy of Europe, LVG is quite the character. He’s also very un-United - an enormous departure from the Ferguson ethos. He’s the antithesis of what Gary Neville would call the Manchester United identity. But he is exactly what we need. He is a kick up the backside. Identity is a misunderstood concept. Just because you’re not British or didn't grow up in the academy does not mean you can’t share philosophies and identities. Louis Van Gaal could prove to be incredibly ‘United’. I’ve said before that belief in youth and desire to succeed are not the preserve of Man United. Look around at Barcelona and Bayern Munich – both reaping the rewards of constructive youth policies. Of course, LVG can only take a small amount of credit for both clubs’ success but his handiwork is certainly visible. If I was under 25 and playing for Man United under LVG I’d be incredibly excited right now. LVG is joining us at a low ebb with the chance to build something of his own from the ground up. If that doesn’t excite the players then more fool them. If they fail they’re finished as top-level sportsmen. After all, you might get away with blaming one manager; you’ll never be able to blame two.

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7. Rotten to the core

Centre halves, centre mid and a laboured strike force. The balance is all wrong. Rio and Vida are gone, Carrick and RVP aren’t getting any younger. The spine of the team – its most important component - is in desperate need of regeneration. Let’s put this into context. There was a time Nicky Butt couldn’t get into the side. He’d be captain now. A 26 year old Wesley Brown would be the first name on today’s team sheet. This isn’t to rewrite history and paint either of those players as world class (though I adored both of them), this is to remind of the standards that predicate success. People would have you believe United never really had a good teams, they just had a good manager and tried really hard. In Barcelona ‘99 Butt wouldn’t have played had Scholes and Keane been available (this was well before the days of three in the middle – oh what a halcyon days). In Moscow Fletcher wasn’t in the squad (though admittedly he’d been injured) and Hargreaves was stationed out wide. Giggs and Park certainly weren’t playing centre mid. The standards are enormously high if you want to win the top prizes. You cannot scrimp and save on the core components of the side as we have done in the past 5 years. The most daunting prospect facing Van Gaal is not that he needs a new team – it’s that he needs a new spine. The chance of finding the right players, with the right character, who gel together quickly is slim. And the truth, though unfortunate, is simple: weak core, average team.

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8. The man who wasn’t there

From the moment Paul Scholes appeared as a pundit on Sky Sports, it was clear the landscape had changed. This was without question the beginning of the end for Moyes. Scholes was brought on to say what Gary Nev couldn’t – that Moyes was out of his depth, that his signings weren’t good enough and that he wasn’t the right man for the job. He may not have used those words but he came damn close. Neville, we’re told, warned Giggs (and brother Phil) to distance themselves from Moyes. He was toxic and they didn’t want to be tainted through association. It was a telling piece of advice. This was more than a passionate fan getting involved – this was a guy protecting a vested interest. The man who revolutionised football punditry, Neville already sustains one conflict of interest in his role as England assistant. His reluctance to castigate England players on MNF has been noted live on air by Carragher. His refusal to explicitly condemn David Moyes for fear of starting a witch hunt is proof that, though his analysis is flawless, his position is not without its complications. With Giggs clearly seen as the heir apparent the Class of 92 will have their say in the future of the club one way or the other. A considered analyst, who puts facts before emotion Neville has one of the most astute brains in football. At some point he’ll have to step out from behind the curtain and take his place up on stage.


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9. O Captain! My Captain!

“O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring…”

Walt Whitman

In his famous poem, Whitman laments the passing of Abraham Lincoln, and mourns the loss of leadership, comparing him to the captain of his ship. Every cause, organisation and club needs leadership. It needs inspiration – a man they can look up to who can drag them from the depths of despair. Someone who can make things happen. This United side is leader-less. It’s devoid of character and needs a captain. Normally I turn my nose up at the importance assigned to the captaincy in football. As far as I can tell the captain’s biggest responsibility is sorting tickets for the games. But at this stage in time, United are desperate. Van Gaal and Giggs from the sides can only do so much – there must be more on the pitch. The rumours that Moyes intended to make Rooney captain made me shudder. Now that Vidic is gone and Evra’s future is uncertain beyond this year there is no obvious choice. That in itself tells its own story. RVP has many of the necessary attributes but went AWOL last season in a way a true captain never would. But someone has to step forward because, unlike in Whitman’s poem, the prizes we seek are nowhere near won.

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10. "The wife's lactating/ I'm spectating/ it's a football thing."

Shaun W. Ryder

Is the world cup over yet? Bored.

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11. Is Ryan Giggs

In the company of other boy geniuses, Giggs rather let’s the side down. The story ought to read: boy wonder breaks onto scene, sets new standards, soars to unimaginable heights, then burns out and fades from view. True heroes don’t get old. They don’t need to. It’s their myths that live on forever. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain – imagine what they could have achieved had they lived past 27. That they never grew old, to many, is a source of comfort. Nirvana fans never had to see Kurt Cobain grow old and fat while fans of The Doors were spared a 1980s Jim Morrison. Oh what could have been - so often the comfort blanket of hope for us all. But Giggs is different. With Giggs there are no question marks. Giggs just was. Giggs just did. And in doing so he destroyed the romantic view of the boy genius who came, who saw, who peaked just before he had time to conquer. Imagine if so-and-so had not had that injury, not been an alcoholic, not lost his pace, if he’d played in a good team – imagine Giggs. Paul Gascoigne has such revered status it’s astonishing to think he didn’t win a single league title in this country. Oh what could have been! Wayne Rooney, the most exciting 16 year old I’ve ever seen, plateaued by 26. Oh but what youth he had! What if he’d laid off the fags, what if Gazza had never touched a drop in his life, what if, what if, what if? And then there was Giggs. Blessed with frightening, God-given gifts here was a boy not interested in 'what ifs'. This boy wonder did the unthinkable and put all these qualities to use. He didn’t squander them, allowing us to sit misty-eyed after a few pints boring the younger generation about the player Giggs ‘could have become’. He didn’t mind getting old. We talk about Whiteside’s back injury, McGrath’s alcoholism, even the wasted late 20s of the great George Best. We don’t lament a single thing about Ryan Giggs. Because, Giggs just kept on keeping on. Each passing year we learnt something more about his character. And he’s a hard man to get to know. Last night’s Life Of Ryan had a common theme – how hard he is to read. That was the first thing Rio Ferdinand said – and he should know he’s shared a dressing room with Giggs since 2002. For the fans he was aloof and laid back to the point we thought, perhaps, he didn’t care about football. It’s not uncommon for prodigious talents, to whom everything comes so easily, to have one nagging question – am I actually enjoying this? Players fall out of love with the game – it’s not unheard of. Pianists lay off the ivories for a while, writers put down the pen for years on end. They have lost their muse. They’re uninspired. Noel Gallagher said everything he wanted to say in Cigarettes & Alcohol and Live Forever. Everything else was just noise. Those were the poignant masterpieces he wanted to share with the world – they represented who he was. But Giggs always had something to say. He always had a point to prove. His Live Forever was the semi final replay goal in ’99. For years I railed against the esteem in which that goal was held. I wouldn’t argue with the quality but I didn’t want his career to be defined by that one run and finish. But now, in the fullness of time, I’m grateful for that goal. As Daniel Harris has said, a career that had threatened to plateau with aesthetically pleasing moments, punctuated with trophy after trophy, was suddenly elevated to immortality. As Phil Neville said in the stunning Class Of 92 documentary, “this was Giggsy’s moment.” And then there was the celebration. Just as Morrisey’s lyrics made The Smiths, so this celebration made the goal. Here was Giggs, that aloof boy wonder to whom everything came so easy, with those cold eyes, a man of no emotion, now semi-naked totally lost in the moment. Gone were all calculations, all rational thought, all self control – here was the ultimate expression of joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. The sort of unconfined joy restricted to those who really, genuinely, absolutely care. Here was a side to Ryan Giggs we had not seen. The laconic celebrations of his youth (finger in the air) had given the impression of a player who was too cool to care. But this Giggs – this Giggs with his top off, twirling round his head celebrating with the fans – this Giggs was one of us. Forward nine years Giggs finds himself in Moscow, now the senior statesman. He’d missed a typically easy chance in extra time having refused to use his right foot and, now, found himself with a much more difficult opportunity – a penalty in a shootout against Petr Cech, the world’s best keeper. As he strode to the spot, I flashed back to Old Trafford, March 1992. A young Ryan Giggs had just missed a penalty against Southampton in the FA Cup. No one who saw that penalty thought that boy would ever score from the spot for Man United. It just wasn’t a skill he had. But this was Ryan Giggs. Not content with his unique athletic gifts, he had it in him to try and perfect every footballing discipline. In Managing My Life, Ferguson lamented that Giggs (in 1999) was too obsessed with perfecting his game. He didn’t focus on his unique balance and speed, instead wanting to improve his passing and his tactical awareness. But this determination, a desire to be the perfect footballer, the best at everything – this is the Giggs that scored the decisive penalty in Moscow. This was a different Giggs. Different but the same. This Giggs would not gently into that good night. This Giggs saw off young pretender after young pretender. This Giggs moved into the middle, destroyed Fabregas, Gerrard, Alonso, Lampard and Ballack, who pulled the strings in European cup quarters and semis, who drove United on to new and unfathomable heights post-Ronaldo. The determination was in his eyes. Those eyes that, as a young man, had hinted at indifference, now screamed with defiance. And he was wonderful. Every shake of the hips reminded us of the young Giggs but, in truth, he got better as he got older. Thrust back into the heart of the side by an utterly desperate David Moyes he produced a passing master class against Olympiakos. This is a special person. One who has dedicated his life to our football club. This is not a time for sadness. All things must pass. We are honoured that he should want to devote the next chapter of his life to MUFC, working under Louis Van Gaal. He could have travelled the world, sought new challenges, learnt new skills. Instead he’s chosen to stay right where he belongs. And while this is the time to look forward to a brighter future of infinite possibilities, I would be lying if I didn’t admit disappointment that I’ll never again watch our number 11, eyes focused, hips at improbable angles, poised “like a cocker spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper in the wind”, with a defender helpless on the floor. There really was no better sight than Ryan Giggs in full flow. And unlike so many prodigious talents before him this one came, saw, conquered and conquered again. There will never be another. Ryan Giggs, football genius.


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Tuesday, 8 April 2014

11 points that think football is a pleasant game...


1. "It's over for the little guy." Patsy Parisi, The Sopranos.

There is a typically poignant moment in the Sopranos episode ‘Johnny Cakes’ when two mobsters visit their local Starbucks to offer ‘protection’. The store manager is nonplussed and simply refers them to his area manager, before warning every dollar must now be accounted for. The mobsters, bemused, scratch their heads and realise “this thing of ours” has changed forever. Nothing withstands the test of time. Everything must adapt if it wants to survive and thrive. Including Manchester United. We have nobly (or naively) attempted to cling to an ideal seen as obsolete by the rest of Europe. For years we have railed against agents’ payments, inflated salaries and transfer fees. When it came to replacing Ferguson we rejected Europe’s top coaches in favour of David Moyes and a seemingly more traditional approach to management. We sought to give Moyes the previous manager’s paintbrush and canvas because that was, after all, how Ferguson painted his masterpiece. But the canvas was no longer blank. Times have changed and the game has moved on. Since we last spoke we have beaten Palace, West Ham, West Brom, Villa and Newcastle. In between came the atrocity in Athens followed by the most fortunate 3-0 victory I have ever seen. Actually that’s not true – we were extremely fortunate to lose only 3-0 to both Liverpool and City. Now we have a second leg against Europe’s finest side having conceded an away goal. Only victory will save our season. A season that has proven us hopelessly out of touch - both on and off the pitch. And all because we wanted to recreate what we had under Ferguson. The principles that existed when Ferguson was appointed in 1986 are not prevalent in 2014. That is sad. And I admire those who rail against moral decline. But there’s a difference between standing up for what you believe in and getting in the way of progress. We are currently on the wrong side of that line. Unless we invest heavily from the academy to the management structure, the first team and beyond, we will be left behind, forever cast as noble outsiders standing up for what we believe regardless of consequences. The game has changed. It's over for the little guy.

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2. Where there’s a will there’s a United way.
There’s a Simpsons episode in which Bart responds to every verbal attack with “so’s your face”. It’s enough to drive his aggressor insane. United fans have their own ‘so’s your face’. Ours is ‘stability, continuity, tiiiiiiime’. You don’t even need logic or supporting arguments. Try it. “Moyes is a clueless twerp.” Stability. “Moyes hasn’t picked the right team once.” Long term. “Moyes shouldn’t have sacked the coaching staff.” Eeeerrr continuity? These words may offer comfort to some but they are, rather unfortunately, just words. They are not – as is so often argued – building blocks of the famous ‘United Way’. And just what is this much-vaunted United way? Is it fast fluent football? Is this a preserve of Man United? Do Madrid therefore play the United way? Lucky them. Are Liverpool currently playing the United way? Christ what a thought. It is a total farce to think that fast, attractive football is a right we as fans ought to expect. It’s also a fallacy to think that only fast, attacking football brings happiness. You’re ahead in a European Cup semi final with twenty minutes to go – do you commit men forwards, playing without abandon? As your opposition picks you apart on the break do you applaud the gung-ho nature of your side? I think not. The United way is a rather redundant, misunderstood and, frankly, childish concept. I feel sorry for the fan that hasn’t realised everything Ferguson did was about winning, not about the preservation of some mythical philosophy born from the ashes of Munich. The Barcelona master plan (semi final 2008), the Battle of Old Trafford (2004 variant), Butt over Scholes in Turin (99) – were these examples of the United way? Or were they decisions made to get the job done? In a season of 60 games how often do you play well? I’d say no more than 10-15. Some games you have good spells, others you simply dig out results. This is the United way. This is the winning way. And for that you can compromise on skill and flair – but never guts and determination. Whether they’re chasing a game, or trying to hold on to a lead, watching a team put their neck on the line is a fully exhilarating, visceral experience. It is football. It’s not about playing a certain way, or getting people off their seats for 90 minutes - it’s about winning. And winning is about courage, determination and leadership. Moyes’s issue is not that we don’t play attacking football – it’s that we play anemic football. We are gutless. We have no right to victory, no ownership over ‘attacking football’ and no guarantee that our players will put their body on the line from one game to the next. The United way has many different forms. Moyes needs to uncover at least one.

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3. We’re Man United, so f***ing what?
“We’re Man United for Christ’s sake!" How can we not have {INSERT POSITION THAT OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN RESOLVED IN ANY OF THE PAST 10 TRANSFER WINDOWS}?” When Buttner plays fans are up in arms that we don’t have a spare left back. When Rafael is injured, they wonder how we can only have one specialist right back? What about centre mids? Centre forwards? And so on. We talk a lot about being the biggest club in Europe but we don’t act like it. Certainly the Glazers have done very little to demonstrate they’re serious about owning the best team in Europe. The chronic lack of investment since the Ronaldo sale is one thing, but the distinct lack of ambition in the investments we have made is another. Valencia from Wigan, Young from Villa, Fellaini from Planet Zod – it hardly smacks of the biggest club in Europe does it? We have bought into our own hype. After all, when have we ever dominated the transfer market? In terms of net profits (and percentage of revenues) we are not big spenders. In the 90s Blackburn and Newcastle out bid and out spent us. Come the 21st century Abramovich took spending to a whole new level before the wealth of the middle east arrived through Sheikh Monsour. And what of our ‘European rivals’? Madrid spent £30mil on a reserve left back (Coentrao) and another £25million on a fifth choice midfielder (Illllllaramiendi). They’re playing a totally different game. Our aim is to produce from within and buy young, outstanding talent. That’s fine. But we’ve even stopped doing that. Since we invested in Nani and Anderson which young game-changing talent have we invested in? Have we spent over £10 million on a player outside the Premier League since Hargreaves? Now, big spending has its own pitfalls – it isn’t the answer to everything. But any team that replaces Paul Scholes with Marouane Fellaini is not taking this seriously. We replaced Ronaldo with Valencia, Tevez with Owen, Rio and Vida with Smalling and Evans while Ryan Giggs is still the best left-sided midfielder at the club (OK maybe Adnan). The only serious attempt we have made to replace a world-class performer is De Gea for Van Der Saar. Without doubt the club had their hands burnt with Veron. Post-Edwards they will point to Berbatov as proof that value doesn’t exist at the top end of the market. But the real problem is we’ve done very little in between to develop world-class talent. Manchester City were going to lose the Carling Cup final before Toure’s intervention. That’s what world class players do. They change the course of history. And though we may have a glorious past, until we acquire some talent of our own, the one thing we can be certain of is a fairly uneventful future.

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4. “Some things in life are bad…”
When Paul Lake was stretchered off during Mike Duxbury’s testimonial, Old Trafford serenaded him with a rendition of “Always look on the bright side of life.” In fact, for years, the Monty Python classic was the ground’s most recognisable anthem. It was full of irony and sung with a knowing smile. We weren’t very good but we’d live to fight another day. When Liverpool foiled our title chances in 1992 they sang our anthem back at us. What followed was a devastating 20-year domination in which we didn’t need irony. We didn’t even need a great sense of humour – because everything was funny. As United went from strength to strength, Liverpool floundered and City slumped to division two. Looking on the bright side of life became second nature. So much so we didn’t need to sing it anymore. Well now here we are. And we’re going to need our sense of humour more than ever. Without it the next few years will feel like an eternity. So for old time’s sake, all together now! “De de de de de de de de.”

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5. United top of the (away) league!
Stats can be misleading. That United have the ‘best’ away record in the Premier League is a tremendous example of the facts amounting to an outright lie. Beating all the teams in the bottom half has totally distorted the figures. In the games that actually mattered we barely turned up let alone recorded victory. City hammered us, Liverpool beat us, Chelsea embarrassed us and we failed to lay a glove on the most insipid Arsenal side of all time. We drew at Spurs and have yet to play Everton and Southampton at their respective grounds. To say this away league table is misleading is an understatement. It is entirely irrelevant. There’s only one table that means anything and in that we remain, as we have all season, 7th.

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6. There’s no ‘I’ in Rooney
In a recent (and brilliant) piece Peter Oborne (Daily Telegraph) wrote about the rise of the neo-liberal in our society. “Neo-liberals”, Oborne wrote, “regard community, place and nation as worthless superstitions. Above all, they place the individual first.” The subject of his piece was Kevin Pietersen but equally it could have been Wayne Rooney. Footballers have always been a selfish bunch but the past ten years has seen an unprecedented rise in player power. The result has been the terminal decline of team spirit. The idea of a common cause has been trampled on with everyone out for themselves. Individuals such as Rooney aggressively demand what’s theirs at the expense of harmony and community. It’s hard to resent Wayne Rooney (and agents) for recognising his commercial worth. I don’t begrudge him his huge contract. Has he been playing well? Yes, I suppose. Do the team need him? Yes. Was his contract up for renewal? Yes. All boxes ticked. But that’s Rooney - forever box-ticking. All lip service and no heart. No one can claim that Rooney lives an breaths the cause as Bruce, Robson and Keane once did. Rooney doesn’t care about Man United anymore than you or I care about our local amateur dramatics society. If they offer us the main part we’ll take it, if not we’ll move on. At the start of the season he let us all know he would maintain a level of professionalism – but he wouldn’t enjoy it. Like the kid who is forced to say sorry, the words come out, but the eyes are a giveaway. He would run around a lot, he would work hard for the team but he would do it devoid of any joy. With the world watching in August (home to Chelsea), he went for a speculative piledriver instead of slipping in Van Persie. The English media is wowed – he forced a save from 30 yards – Moyes is beaming, but something is wrong. When did proving a point become more important than winning three? And that is the neo-liberal for you. Wayne Rooney. A technically gifted player, the darling of a generation, he ticks all the boxes. He knows how to say the right things. He sometimes even does the right thing. I just can’t help but feel it’s always for the wrong reason.

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7.  Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Ferguson relished having a big squad because he knew the worth of every single player. Moyes is inhibited by it. He doesn’t know his players at all. Since day one he has proven completely incapable of managing a large group of international players. What’s more, he has shown no improvement as the season’s worn on. Which is just as well because, ahead of the Munich game, there is no squad to choose from. RVP is injured, Mata is ineligible, several defenders are out and even Fellaini is crocked. He will be forced to play the hand he’s been dealt. So that means no inexplicable dropping of Welbeck, no Mata on the right at the expense of Valencia’s pace and no constant tinkering at centre half. His only choice will be whether to restore Evra at Buttner’s expense. And if that’s the extent of the decisions he has to make then surely, even Moyes can’t get this one wrong.

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8. Words.

 “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” R. Kipling.

Moyes is clearly on drugs. That’s something we all know. But he hasn’t been intoxicated by the power of words, as Kipling references. And more’s the pity. True leaders understand the power of words. They know words can manipulate, they can enchant, they convince, they wound and they save. They are weapons that destroy and remedies that heal. History connects our leaders with the words they say as much as with the things they do. Churchill, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr. – their achievements are encapsulated in the historic sound bites that live on today. Moyes has not grasped that people are inspired by words. When he talks to the camera he thinks he’s talking to the people at home. He is a fool. He has not realised he’s actually talking to his players. Every conversation he has, every interview he gives and every statement he makes should be calculated for the players’ ears. He does not have to give the Sermon on the Mount but he has to understand that his players are looking for a leader. They ought to be hanging on every word he says but at the moment he’s not worth listening to. He’s told them they’re not good enough, that they lack world class talent, that there’s going to be changes, that their old coaches weren’t up to it and that everything they thought they knew was wrong. When Brian Clough told the Leeds players to throw their medals in the bin at least he looked them in the eye. Moyes has taken the coward’s route and done it through the press. It’s no wonder the dressing room harmony previously the envy of world football has gone. We are looking for a leader and we have an apologist. And it’s bizarre because it’s so easy. After all if you say the right things often enough, maybe – just maybe, people will believe you. But Moyes won’t even do that. Well he’ll have to learn because if he calls Liverpool favourites again or tells the world we “aspire” to Manchester City there’ll be no words left to save him. And when he looks back at his career he’ll do well to ruminate on these all-too-true-words:

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.”
 John Greenleaf Whittier.

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9. The truth is out there.
Some people want to know who shot JFK (spoiler alert - it was Lee Harvey Oswald). Others want to know what really happened to Tony Soprano (another spoiler alert – he was killed in the café). Me and 750million United fans (official club data) would like to know exactly what Fergie meant in his speech about “backing the new manager”. What was seen as a fairly benign phrase has taken on a whole new meaning since that historic day. It has conspiracy theorists in a flat spin. Did he mean, “the club is in bad shape, this is going to be a long road back under a new and relatively inexperienced manager so he’ll need your support (aside Moyes is only a few years younger than Ancelotti. Amazing, I know)? Or did he mean, “support him because that’s what nice people do”? Was he even talking to the fans? Maybe it was a cryptic message to the Glazers? Or maybe it was just something he said. After all, Ferguson claimed that he improvised that famous speech on the advice of his son. But can we really believe that? With Ferguson, was not every word calculated? As with all mysteries, the temptation is to analyse minute detail to see patterns that don’t exist. And when things don’t add up after seemingly regular events, conspiracy theories abound. It may not quite be our ‘who shot JFK’ moment, but as with other such historical ambiguities, the truth may never be uncovered.

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10. Are you not entertained?
It is common consensus that if attendances plummet, if season tickets are not renewed and if the fans revolt, Moyes will get the sack. You couldn’t make it up. For all the issues that fans have campaigned about over the years including ticket prices, mistreatment at grounds, anti-social kick off times etc. now the Glazers want to hear from us. You could not make it up. Because the club (may) have chosen the wrong manager, but no one within the club is willing or able to do anything about it, they’re putting this on the fans reaction. Thanks but no thanks. While I will hardly cheer Moyes (there’s not been much to cheer frankly) nor will I stand their jeering, taking cheap shots at a man doing his best (even if it’s not good enough). Either the Glazers believe he’s the right man for the job or they don’t. But if they’re waiting for a gladiatorial thumbs up or down moment from the crowd then something is seriously wrong. But then we knew that already.

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11. Is Ryan Giggs.
And if it comes down to a choice between him and Moyes then it isn’t really a choice at all.

Friday, 14 February 2014

11 points that think Dylan's Christian albums are under-rated

1. Over the top?
The Battle of The Somme - the tragic centrepiece of the Great War - was devised by the powers-that-be to end the war decisively. It ended up lasting for 6 devastating months. History proves it a tragedy so futile it would be comic if it wasn’t so real. While football is not life and death (Blank disagrees with Shankly shock!) we can learn from the lessons of history. This feels like our Somme moment. Fans are divided by a stark choice: act decisively now or risk an extended future in no man’s land. We could persevere with the status quo, we could even achieve a modicum of success – but at what cost? There will come a point where someone somewhere (a Glazer or Ferguson) will realise that for radical results we must make radical change. That time may not be now but if we’re to invest all our resources for limited success (at best) then you have to ask, what’s the point? Since we last spoke we’ve been on quite the run. We beat Swansea before losing to Sunderland, Chelsea, and Stoke. We beat Cardiff but didn’t actually deserve to. We even had a week off. Because we’re no longer in the FA Cup. We then came bouncing back with a tremendous draw against Fulham before managing a clean sheet at Arsenal that said more about them than about us. This is not a slump. This is life. Not since 1989 have we felt so without hope. We are going into each game blindly climbing over the top and getting gunned down. Since David Moyes told the world “Manchester United always improves in the second half of the season” we have regressed at a quite alarming rate. It has been an utter disaster. And the worst part is, as history tends to show, this may drag on for some time.

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2. MUFC: fragile, handle with care
There is only one reason I support David Moyes. It’s because this isn’t about David Moyes. This is about an identity. If this doesn’t work we’re just another club. We’re no different to City and Chelsea (actually we are different – we’re not as rich). We throw money at problems, we sack managers, we covet agents and we bitch and moan our way from August to May. We discard young players (more on that) and demand the impossible from the seniors. In this new world the enjoyment we get from our rivals’ misery far outweighs any hope we have for our own future. We sing stupid songs about Vincent Kompany (oh wait), we trumpet achievements from years gone by to allow for an abject present. In short if this doesn’t work, we have lost everything. This has to work. The principles that we’re fighting for have to win out. Youth, continuity, planning, composure – we have to show that these ideals have a place in the modern world. Ferguson was the link to the past. Now he’s gone the club is wobbling, trying to retain its identity under new management. It’s understandable. The club has suffered a heart attack with the departure of Ferguson (and the inexcusable summer transfer window). David Moyes your job is to help us recover. Because if you don’t, who will?

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3. View from the Glazers
This could have gone two ways. Moyes could have taken to it like a duck to water, born for this moment. Or it could have gone the other way. And it’s gone the other way. Oh it has gone the other way. But the facts remain: Moyes was chosen. Moyes was given a 6 year deal. And Moyes was given £37million to spend on a Chelsea outcast in the January window. He’s also been given a mandate to clear the squad and start moulding as he sees fit. If he’s building a new team – and the Glazers are on board with that – then it takes time. They either sack him now or give him at least two more years. There is nothing in between. The Glazers, Fergie, David Gill – they knew his CV. They knew the risk. The pain of watching Mourinho mastermind (and there is no other word – it was stunning the Chelsea performance at the Etihad) a victory over a city side who continually thrash us showed what we’re missing out on - a winning, committed football team fighting for an inspirational manager. Jose is wonderful. But that doesn’t mean he was for us. There were very rational reasons why Moyes got the job. Now more than ever we need to stay true to our principles. I can’t deny that this season has been an unmitigated disaster. But nor will I use this forum as an excuse to vent my frustration and list Moyes’ mistakes. There have been some well articulated pieces of that order but I think they’re poorly timed and too short-term. The fans have been unbelievable. The singing at 3-0 down at Stamford Bridge was unreal. This is a new time, a new era and it’s going to be a new team. All the Glazers will be hoping is that Moyes, though a slow starter, will take some stopping once he gets going.

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4.  “Denis, Denis - keep playing football.”
I was 10 years old and it was the opening day of the season 1992. Fergie was encouraging Irwin from the sides. I thought the above was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard and remember laughing with my dad about the nonsense that is ‘football-speak’. I now know what Fergie meant. As Kipling put it:

“If you can keep your head when all about you/ Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,/ If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,/ but make allowance for their doubting too…you’ll be a man my son!”

The last minute goals were not a coincidence under Ferguson. They were a combination of factors – one of which was the ability to retain an even temperament in the most desperate situations. Beckham’s corners in the Nou Camp, Giggs pass to Owen, Solskjaer’s touch and finish against Liverpool all came from moments of composure born out of an intense discipline. This season we have no discipline. Against Chelsea we gave away 21 free kicks. The second goal was a classic with Phil Jones making a non-sensical challenge on Willian who couldn’t have been ‘going nowhere’ faster had he been entering a black hole. From there we conceded the goal. At the end Vida got himself sent off. We can blame Dowd – but Vidic let the team down. To make matters worse Rafael went kamikaze into a two-footed lunge that ought to have resulted in a ban. Did we learn from our mistakes? Three days later we hosted Sunderland and conceded 20 free kicks. That none amounted to anything is irrelevant. Think of the stoppages in play, the territory conceded, the possession surrendered – it’s amateur. Under Ferguson we had an immaculate disciplinary record but we were also rock solid at the back. The two are linked. Players were committed to a greater cause – winning the game. So far this season we have accumulated 48 yellow cards. That’s nearly two a game. We have no discipline with and without the ball. And it’s hurting us. Because quite simply, the more we lose our heads, the more games we’ll lose.

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5. Luck off
Oh woe is we! Van Persie’s been injured! It was a deflection! Referee! City get all the luck! Some people actually think that. It’s insane. Every cliché about making your own luck, getting the luck you deserve, the luck evening itself out etc. is true. Luck is not a factor in our current predicament. The Eto’o deflection came after Phil Jones had his pants pulled down. The Charlie Adam deflection came from a needless free kick (conceded by Smalling) and a piece of flat-footed indecisiveness from Carrick. Luck had nothing to do with it. The Charlie Adam winner – two players closed down the same man. Against Fulham Vidic gave the ball away. Once that happened we were no longer masters of our own destiny. And that’s the point. You cannot control everything that happens on a football pitch. The game’s brilliance is rooted in its sheer randomness. The ball is round, it spins in funny directions. Players are human. They make inexplicable mistakes. Sometimes things just happen. And anyone who doesn’t understand that in life, not everything can go your way will die disappointed. But the things you can control, you have to control. It is paramount that you take control of the small details. On the pitch you can be organised, vocal, disciplined, well drilled, unified and courageous. But United under Moyes are not in control. They are spiralling wildly out of control. Not until Moyes owns the smaller details can we claim to warrant a bigger slice of luck. And the irony here is that when we’re back in control we won’t need luck. We’ll be masters of our own destiny, smugly looking down on the rest of the world knowing that we didn’t need luck. Luck is strictly for losers.

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6. Money doesn’t (always) mean success
The issue as to whether the squad needs major surgery is one thing (it doesn’t/ it didn’t). There’s also the deeper logistical issue of how exactly this regeneration is going to work. Firstly, has an influx (and exodus) of players over a short period ever resulted in a prolonged period of success? I think not. And what of the young players whose game time will shrink when the manager gives new players the minutes they need? It’s a dangerous game to play. Chelsea and City bought success but if anyone thinks we’ll spend what they spent in a two year period they haven’t been paying attention. What’s more, Chelsea and City haven’t produced a single young player since their respective regimes took over. They want short term results and spend hundreds of millions to achieve it. We will never, ever do that. Nor will we be able to persuade established stars to come to Old Trafford. We must stick to what we’ve always done – buy younger, hungrier, raw talent and develop them as part of a winning side. We must invest in the academy and bring more Adnans through (aside - James Wilson is a real prospect). These players need time. But the more players that come this summer, the more players will be affected and, eventually, leave. This is not what we’ve been working towards under the Glazers. I cannot understand why all of a sudden they would sanction such an overhaul. If they wanted to spend big money on big players then they should have appointed Mourinho. Or even better they should have given it Ferguson. The idea, I thought, was for Moyes to continue Ferguson’s work – and now he’s going to tear it up and start again. Odd. And then there’s the issue of which players he’s going to buy. Because so far we have spent £70million on two of the slowest players I have ever seen. It’s no wonder we’re going nowhere fast.

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7. Do not adjust your TV
How awful is the league table? I find myself squinting at the tele/ paper in an attempt to make it palatable reading. In previous years you could spin the table in such a way as to end up feeling better about life. ‘If we win x game and Chelsea lose y then we’ll be 5 points clear.’ Or if we win on Sunday we’ll only be 3 behind and still have to play them at ours’. Since August whatever valiant attempts you make to reimagine the league table it remains painful reading. There’s no spin that can save us from the ignominy of seventh place. It’s February, we are seventh. Do not adjust your TV.

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8. The man who wasn’t there.
Nemanja Vidic. How much do you really know about our captain? On the pitch he’s a monster. That man won us more games than any other player in the Ferguson era. Think of those dour one nils season after season post Ronaldo. Ball goes into the box, ball comes out of the box. Nemanja Vidic - a complete defender and a born winner. But off it, was he ever one of us? Whereas we felt we knew Keane, Robson, Beckham, Bruce inside out (for better or worse), Vidic has always been something of an enigma. Constantly linked with a move away (no smoke without fire), he seemed keen to keep his options open. And that’s hurt our new manager. The one player Moyes will have looked to in an attempt to hit the ground running would have been his captain. But he has not been the same player. Now I’d argue that the shape of Moyes’ United has not helped Vida. He’s been left isolated and not given the protection afforded to Terry (e.g.) who has been cajoled into the Indian Summer of his career. But Moyes clearly isn’t prepared to build around Vidic. Perhaps he’s not the man Moyes was hoping for (maybe the feeling’s mutual). Ferguson said at the start of the season that if we keep Vida fit “we’ll have a great chance.” So far he has played in 22 of our 36 games (14 out of 25 PL fixtures). That’s two more than Giggs and two less than perma-crocked Carrick. For the captain they’re not great stats. The feeling is that with Ferguson gone, Vida loosened his top button and took it all a little less seriously. He’s now moving on and will retire a wealthy man. I can’t begrudge him that. Under Ferguson very few got 10+ years. Giggs, Scholes, Keane, Rio, Robson, Neville. For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on Vidic doesn’t belong on that list. Quite possibly it’s because, unlike those players, when the going got tough, the tough got going.

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9. There’s a slow train coming
David Moyes please reveal your master plan and convince me it doesn’t consist of Mata on the left wing. He’s small and slow – not the physical requirements of your classic wide player. Moyes has joined an illustrious club with this acquisition. Just as when Ferguson signed Veron and Kagawa, Moyes has created a problem for himself. A player like Mata has to be integral to the side. He’s a schemer, a touch player who needs to be involved in and around the box (a bit like Kagawa but that’s a completely different/ exactly the same story). My thoughts on Rooney are well known but if Moyes wants to build his team around him it’s his call. But a front three of Rooney, Mata and RVP is slow. Like really slow. The myth that RVP and Rooney could perfectly co-exist was blown out of the water the minute Ferguson played Welbeck against Madrid. Now we’ve added another talented but immobile player into the mix. We have lost our ability to break, our power to get round the back (aside - Evra was a huge part of that and it’s a disgrace we didn’t sign a left back in the summer) and we lack (as we all know) quality in wide areas when Adnan doesn’t play. Juan Mata is not the answer. Ferguson always said Manchester United was a train that waited for no man. And he’s right. Just now it’s a really slow train. And it’s driving me round the bend.

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10. Balloon D’Or
It’s been another amazing month in the career of Wayne Rooney. Just when you think the zenith has been reached, he finds another peak to climb. It begs the question: is there anything this talisman can’t do? Not content with spectacular contributions in the league, Rooney also scored the goals that sent us to Wembley and into the fourth round of the FA Cup. People talk about Ronaldo and Cantona – but they’re distant memories. The present is Wayne Rooney. He scores at will, takes every game by the scruff of the neck, bullies defenders and always, always hits the target. His dynamic movement is matched only by his prolific output. If the rumours are to be believed that he’s about to earn £300k a week then it’s money well earned I say. And though talk of the captain’s armband may be premature, his unofficial role as team spokesperson is not. Wazza is our leader. Our leader is not that good.

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11. Is Ryan Giggs
Ryan Giggs was young once. He was 17 years old and he was lightening. To this day he is the quickest, most graceful footballer I have ever seen. It’s funny to think that after the initial buzz wore off, some United fans didn’t like him. They didn’t think he cared. His body language showed he wanted to be elsewhere. 94/95 he had a terrible season and people wanted rid. He clearly wanted to move to Milan anyway. Fast forward 75 years and here we are. Young players – even Ryan Giggs – go through tough times. They learn and evolve. It’s called growing up. It’s called Ronaldo. It’s called Darren Fletcher. It’s called Gary Pallister. How can fans of MUFC not have realised this by now? It is absolutely not OK to slag off young players. Young players should be exempt from criticism. They are learning their trade. The number of people I hear slaughtering Chris Smalling, Tom Cleverly, Jones and Welbeck is astonishing. Why? Because they aren’t Rio, Scholes, Keane and Van Nistelrooy? If you haven’t realised by now that, as part of a squad, these boys will contribute then I pity you. If you haven’t also clocked that they, you know, might improve over time, then you do not deserve to watch them play. You should be forever marked with a tattoo that says, “I slagged Daniel” as he scores the winner in the European Cup final. This season our young players have been badly let down by the senior pros. Welbeck, Jones, Adnan and Rafa should not have been taking penalties in a semi final. The responsibility shouldn’t have been with them. They are Man United players and have standards to maintain - yes. But the time to judge is not now. These players are our future. They need protecting. They need our support. Even Ryan Giggs was young once.

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