1. Last Christmas I gave you my heart/ but
the very next year you gave it…to David Moyes. Oh last Christmas - how I long
for thee. Or the Christmas before. Or the one before. Or any of the past 20+ Christmases.
Remember how it was? Last season we drew at Swansea and it was a disaster. Last
Christmas we took 22 points from the 24 available during the festive season.
Last season we went 9 points clear. This season good tidings we do not bring.
December is usually our month. It is a time of rejoicing (drinking),
celebrating (drinking) and good cheer (drinking). It is also the time when
United put their foot down, go up through the gears and to the top of the
table. Typically we’d emerge New Year’s Day with a hangover, 3 pounds
overweight but a few points clear at the top. Not this year. This year we have
descended hard and fast into the ranks of the mere mortals. And it hurts. Since
we last met there has been the high (Arsenal) and the lows (Cardiff, Spurs,
Everton and Newcastle). We’ve won in Europe but not against much. 2013 can’t
end fast enough. What a difference a year makes.
2. We were all prepared for the transition.
We knew we wouldn’t be lifting metal in May. But this is so much more than
that. This is having everything you thought you knew shredded into lies and
mistruths right before your eyes. This is getting to heaven and finding out
that God is a Liverpool fan. This isn’t about the odd defeat. This is about
realising that everything you held true has gone. It is a waste of everyone’s
time for me to sit here and tear into David Moyes. To micro-analyse his
individual mistakes with my rudimentary thoughts on formation, tactics and
other such nonsense. That is pointless. Mistakes were always going to be made. But
it’s astonishing how little prepared he was for the job. Given he knew months ago
he was taking over I assumed the “I couldn’t start before July 1” line was a
cover story to avoid engaging Everton’s wick. Now I’m not so sure. Alarm bells
were ringing when he admitted to never having seen Kagawa play and when he
selected an aging, negative side for those tragic opening fixtures. He’s been
playing catch up ever since. The players are struggling to adapt. They are
professional but they are uninspired. They are not stupid. Bar the odd
performance (against weak sides such as Norwich, fulham and Leverkusen), they
have regularly been second best. Against Arsenal they ceded possession to the
better footballing side. Alarm bells will have been ringing for some time. The
false dawn of the Arsenal victory was achieved at the cost of Carrick and Van
Persie ahead of the busiest time of the season. That was cruel – but inevitable.
When it rains it pours. Especially in Manchester.
3. Moyes would argue that this is not a
fair test. This is not his team. This is Ferguson’s team and his job is not to
manage someone else’s side, but to create his own. That takes time. It requires
2 or 3 transfer windows to stamp your authority on the squad. Which makes the summer
dealings even more bizarre. Had Moyes spent wisely we would not be in this
position. Look at the impact Ozil has made at Arsenal. They would feasibly not
be in the top 4 without that signing. Top players have that galvanizing effect.
Think Cantona, think Van Persie. Moyes inherited a good squad. Don’t let anyone
tell you otherwise. It needed a Scholes replacement (and a Rio replacement) but
it was a good squad. But if you don’t move forward you move backwards – there
is no in between. Moyes and Woodward dallying and procrastinating hurt us – and
will continue to do so throughout the season. It was a negative seed with roots
that neither spread nor flower; they wither and rot. Much like our season. Carrick’s
injury has accelerated the process and shown just how desperate that transfer
window was. And now January is upon us Moyes finds himself caught between a
rock and a hard place. He has to spend. This squad without Scholes and with Fellaini
cannot push for top 4 without strengthening. But as we are constantly told (by
our own club), January is not the time to do business. Moyes is damned if he
does and damned if he doesn’t. January is shaping up to be much like the summer.
Just a lot colder, a lot darker and a lot, lot more depressing.
4. Moyes is like a beleaguered kid at the
fair. He’s playing that whack-a-mole game but he just can’t crack it. Every
time he hits one mole another pops up. Everyone knows we are weak in centre
mid. Slowly people have realised we are struggling in wide areas (at least
Adnan has come through – Christ thank the lord for Adnan). But now we have a
big problem at centre half. Vidic looks terribly immobile. Rio who was magnificent
last year looks finished and Moyes’s refusal to play Evans for the first month
of the season has left him bereft of confidence. Smalling and Jones have been
played at right back and in midfield respectively leaving us with a big issue.
Against Spurs we looked awfully slow and flat-footed. I rate all our centre
halves yet we are defending badly. We have no pace, we’re giving away needless
fouls and conceding from the subsequent set pieces. We are too deep and not
defending as a unit. All the careful succession planning Ferguson put in place
with Evans and Jones seems to have been thrown out the window. No single player
has won us more dire 1-0 victories than Nemanja Vidic in the past 25 years. His
decline could not have come at a worse time. Moyes needs to add a 25 year old
world class centre half to his ever growing shopping list. Or Distin.
5. Why is Rafael not playing? And I mean
playing every single minute of every single game. Did you know that at the
weekend no team attempted fewer forward passes than MUFC? And by quite some distance. Carrick’s
importance to this side cannot be over-stated – but nor can forward-minded,
thrill seeking full backs such as Rafael Da Silva. He is a gem. Moyes needs to
free him if he’s serious about moving forwards.
6. Since the day I attended my first away
game I’ve been immensely proud of the originality of our songs. A sense of
humour, a love of melody and a nod to history – the key ingredients to our
greatest terrace chants. Of course you cannot know what will and won’t take off
– but a good mix of quality and quantity mean that we are the envy of many a
match going fan. But we’re in danger of letting ourselves down. A song that was
dedicated to a legend like Nicky Butt should be used only for the legend that
is Nicky Butt. The morons that sang Ashley, Ashley Young are dead to me.
Likewise those that sing it for Januzaj. I like the new Adnan song (lotto ad)
but not the Van Der Sar Man rehash. It’s not original. I detest the Kagawa
song. Firstly, that tune is used by every club in the country. Secondly, it’s
racist. I admit to singing it initially, finding it amusing. Then I realised
that it’s not ok just because it’s in song form. We can do better. I am, of
course author/ co-author of some of the most fantastically awful United songs
in history. Jaap Stam (Roxanne), We’ve Got Dong Fhanzou (Heavy D), Darron
Gibson (Paparazzi), Darron Gibson (Scarborough Fair), The hills are alive with Diego
Forlan, Wayne Rooney do you know what he’s worth (Belinda Carlisle) – these may
not be terrace classics (yet), but they are at least original. I’d prefer
terrible and original to chants that any club could conceivably call their own.
Christ knows we need something to entertain us.
7. Or should this be point 25? Valencia’s
foul then subsequent lapse of concentration in the Everton game summed up
everything that is bad about United under Moyes. Forget that Valencia has
seemingly given up trying to play football – that is not his first lapse in
concentration this year (City). All season long we’ve been giving away stupid
free kicks and conceding goals from set pieces (City, Liverpool, Stoke,
Southampton, Cardiff, Spurs, Everton). It’s amateur. We all thought the one
thing Moyes wouldn’t accept was a drop in professional standards. But the
Cardiff goal in the 89th minute, the Everton goal in the 86th,
the Kyle Walker free kick – these are the things that’ll kill you. For all the
talk of formations, transfers and systems the simple truth remains – if we did
the basics well we wouldn’t be 9th.
8. Football is stupid. I could not connect
the praise Rooney received post -Arsenal with his actual performance. His
effort couldn’t be faulted and he stamped his personality all over the game,
but at no stage did he match Van Persie’s quality. Against Cardiff and Everton
he had the chance to win the game but failed to find the target on both
occasions. The English media adore rooney. That’s fair enough, everyone needs a
hero but every time I see RVP I see an actual world class player. Always turning
and majestic on the ball he so often produces match wining moments. Without him
at Cardiff and spurs we were never winning those games. To see Moyes rush him
back for the Newcastle game smacked of desperation. He is our golden ticket –
he has to be cared for. He is one of the top players in Europe. Look after him
and he’ll look after us.
9. Coaches do not make or break a football
club. Mike Phelan’s shorts were not responsible for our twentieth title.
Meulensteen leaving is not the reason we lost two consecutive home games. But
coaches can give you an insight into goings on behind the scenes. Two things
happened this week. One was Phil Neville claiming that Duncan Ferguson had the
potential to be “up there with Yorke, Shearer, Cole and Van Nistelrooy as one
of the very best.” The other was Steve Round citing the Leverkusen win as
evidence that we can go all the way in Europe. Let’s start with P Nev. I adore
the man. But that is utter bullshit. I liked Big Dunc and if I’d been an
Everton fan I’d have worshipped him. But he was not a top class player. Not
even injury free. He was a good player at the right club. That is it. When
Kiddo suggested John Hartson to the board Ferguson basically sacked him. But
maybe Moyes agrees with Phil. Maybe Steve Round agrees. Maybe they all sit
around and agree. That’s what terrifies me. We know there’s rebuilding work to
be done and talent to be identified. That’s fine. But is the current management
the people to do it? All evidence so far suggests not. And talking of evidence:
Steve Round if you’ve seen any other European games you’ll know that Leverkusen
are one of the weakest sides in the tournament. It was a good result but it proved
nothing. As proven by all subsequent results and performances.
10. I felt for Moyes after Everton. (And
not just because our downward spiral is being emphatically highlighted by their
spectacular upward trajectory. Though that is pitiful for all concerned.) Being
booed by fans he’d served for 11 years, having built a club they could be proud
of must hurt. He has to be given credit for what’s going on at Everton. Without
him Howard, Jagielka, Baines, Coleman, Pienaar, Mirallas etc do not develop
into a top team. Yes Martinez has clearly given them something extra – no one
can deny that. But Martinez could not have done what Moyes did all those years
ago. To take Everton out of the doldrums and put them above Liverpool with
limited resources is a laudable achievement. Football is increasingly tribal
and ill tempered. It’s time for Everton fans to rise above it and acknowledge
the sheer dedication he gave that club. And if anyone’s going to slag him off, it
really ought to be us.
11. Is Ryan Giggs. “The smile diffident,
the eyes determined” (the great - and criminally mistreated - Barry Davies). That
was the true Giggs in Class of 92. Funny and smart, we saw a leader with a
fierce determination lurking behind those dead eyes. A one-off. No saint but a
winner. I’ve never been more certain that he’ll be the next MUFC manager. It
just might be a lot sooner than even he thinks.
