1. "It's over for the little guy."
Patsy Parisi, The Sopranos.
There is a typically
poignant moment in the Sopranos episode ‘Johnny Cakes’ when two mobsters visit
their local Starbucks to offer ‘protection’. The store manager is nonplussed
and simply refers them to his area manager, before warning every dollar must now
be accounted for. The mobsters, bemused, scratch their heads and realise “this
thing of ours” has changed forever. Nothing withstands the test of time.
Everything must adapt if it wants to survive and thrive. Including Manchester
United. We have nobly (or naively) attempted to cling to an ideal seen as
obsolete by the rest of Europe. For years we have railed against agents’
payments, inflated salaries and transfer fees. When it came to replacing
Ferguson we rejected Europe’s top coaches in favour of David Moyes and a
seemingly more traditional approach to management. We sought to give Moyes the
previous manager’s paintbrush and canvas because that was, after all, how
Ferguson painted his masterpiece. But the canvas was no longer blank. Times
have changed and the game has moved on. Since we last spoke we have beaten
Palace, West Ham, West Brom, Villa and Newcastle. In between came the atrocity
in Athens followed by the most fortunate 3-0 victory I have ever seen. Actually
that’s not true – we were extremely fortunate to lose only 3-0 to both Liverpool
and City. Now we have a second leg against Europe’s finest side having conceded
an away goal. Only victory will save our season. A season that has proven us hopelessly
out of touch - both on and off the pitch. And all because we wanted to recreate
what we had under Ferguson. The principles that existed when Ferguson was
appointed in 1986 are not prevalent in 2014. That is sad. And I admire those
who rail against moral decline. But there’s a difference between standing up
for what you believe in and getting in the way of progress. We are currently on
the wrong side of that line. Unless we invest heavily from the academy to the
management structure, the first team and beyond, we will be left behind,
forever cast as noble outsiders standing up for what we believe regardless of
consequences. The game has changed. It's over for the
little guy.
--
2. Where there’s a will there’s a United way.
There’s a
Simpsons episode in which Bart responds to every verbal attack with “so’s your
face”. It’s enough to drive his aggressor insane. United fans have their own ‘so’s
your face’. Ours is ‘stability, continuity, tiiiiiiime’. You don’t even need
logic or supporting arguments. Try it. “Moyes is a clueless twerp.” Stability.
“Moyes hasn’t picked the right team once.” Long term. “Moyes shouldn’t have
sacked the coaching staff.” Eeeerrr continuity? These words may offer comfort to
some but they are, rather unfortunately, just words. They are not – as is so
often argued – building blocks of the famous ‘United Way’. And just what is this
much-vaunted United way? Is it fast fluent football? Is this a preserve of Man
United? Do Madrid therefore play the United way? Lucky them. Are Liverpool
currently playing the United way? Christ what a thought. It is a total farce to
think that fast, attractive football is a right we as fans ought to expect.
It’s also a fallacy to think that only fast, attacking football brings
happiness. You’re ahead in a European Cup semi final with twenty minutes to go
– do you commit men forwards, playing without abandon? As your opposition picks
you apart on the break do you applaud the gung-ho nature of your side? I think
not. The United way is a rather redundant, misunderstood and, frankly, childish
concept. I feel sorry for the fan that hasn’t realised everything Ferguson did
was about winning, not about the preservation of some mythical philosophy born
from the ashes of Munich. The Barcelona master plan (semi final 2008), the
Battle of Old Trafford (2004 variant), Butt over Scholes in Turin (99) – were
these examples of the United way? Or were they decisions made to get the job
done? In a season of 60 games how often do you play well? I’d say no more than
10-15. Some games you have good spells, others you simply dig out results. This
is the United way. This is the winning way. And for that you can compromise on
skill and flair – but never guts and determination. Whether they’re chasing a
game, or trying to hold on to a lead, watching a team put their neck on the
line is a fully exhilarating, visceral experience. It is football. It’s not
about playing a certain way, or getting people off their seats for 90 minutes -
it’s about winning. And winning is about courage, determination and leadership.
Moyes’s issue is not that we don’t play attacking football – it’s that we play
anemic football. We are gutless. We have no right to victory, no ownership over
‘attacking football’ and no guarantee that our players will put their body on
the line from one game to the next. The United way has many different forms.
Moyes needs to uncover at least one.
--
3. We’re Man United, so f***ing what?
“We’re Man
United for Christ’s sake!" How can we not have {INSERT POSITION THAT OUGHT
TO HAVE BEEN RESOLVED IN ANY OF THE PAST 10 TRANSFER WINDOWS}?” When Buttner plays
fans are up in arms that we don’t have a spare left back. When Rafael is
injured, they wonder how we can only have one specialist right back? What about
centre mids? Centre forwards? And so on. We talk a lot about being the biggest
club in Europe but we don’t act like it. Certainly the Glazers have done very
little to demonstrate they’re serious about owning the best team in Europe. The
chronic lack of investment since the Ronaldo sale is one thing, but the
distinct lack of ambition in the investments we have made is another. Valencia
from Wigan, Young from Villa, Fellaini from Planet Zod – it hardly smacks of
the biggest club in Europe does it? We have bought into our own hype. After
all, when have we ever dominated the transfer market? In terms of net profits
(and percentage of revenues) we are not big spenders. In the 90s Blackburn and
Newcastle out bid and out spent us. Come the 21st century Abramovich
took spending to a whole new level before the wealth of the middle east arrived
through Sheikh Monsour. And what of our ‘European rivals’? Madrid spent £30mil
on a reserve left back (Coentrao) and another £25million on a fifth choice
midfielder (Illllllaramiendi). They’re playing a totally different game. Our
aim is to produce from within and buy young, outstanding talent. That’s fine.
But we’ve even stopped doing that. Since we invested in Nani and Anderson which
young game-changing talent have we invested in? Have we spent over £10 million
on a player outside the Premier League since Hargreaves? Now, big spending has
its own pitfalls – it isn’t the answer to everything. But any team that
replaces Paul Scholes with Marouane Fellaini is not taking this seriously. We replaced
Ronaldo with Valencia, Tevez with Owen, Rio and Vida with Smalling and Evans
while Ryan Giggs is still the best left-sided midfielder at the club (OK maybe
Adnan). The only serious attempt we have made to replace a world-class
performer is De Gea for Van Der Saar. Without doubt the club had their hands
burnt with Veron. Post-Edwards they will point to Berbatov as proof that value doesn’t
exist at the top end of the market. But the real problem is we’ve done very
little in between to develop world-class talent. Manchester City were going to
lose the Carling Cup final before Toure’s intervention. That’s what world class
players do. They change the course of history. And though we may have a
glorious past, until we acquire some talent of our own, the one thing we can be
certain of is a fairly uneventful future.
--
4. “Some things in life are bad…”
When Paul
Lake was stretchered off during Mike Duxbury’s testimonial, Old Trafford
serenaded him with a rendition of “Always look on the bright side of life.” In
fact, for years, the Monty Python classic was the ground’s most recognisable
anthem. It was full of irony and sung with a knowing smile. We weren’t very
good but we’d live to fight another day. When Liverpool foiled our title
chances in 1992 they sang our anthem back at us. What followed was a
devastating 20-year domination in which we didn’t need irony. We didn’t even
need a great sense of humour – because everything was funny. As United went
from strength to strength, Liverpool floundered and City slumped to division
two. Looking on the bright side of life became second nature. So much so we
didn’t need to sing it anymore. Well now here we are. And we’re going to need
our sense of humour more than ever. Without it the next few years will feel like an eternity. So for old time’s
sake, all together now! “De de de de de de de de.”
--
5. United top of the (away) league!
Stats can
be misleading. That United have the ‘best’ away record in the Premier League is
a tremendous example of the facts amounting to an outright lie. Beating all the
teams in the bottom half has totally distorted the figures. In the games that
actually mattered we barely turned up let alone recorded victory. City hammered
us, Liverpool beat us, Chelsea embarrassed us and we failed to lay a glove on
the most insipid Arsenal side of all time. We drew at Spurs and have yet to
play Everton and Southampton at their respective grounds. To say this away
league table is misleading is an understatement. It is entirely irrelevant.
There’s only one table that means anything and in that we remain, as we have
all season, 7th.
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6. There’s no ‘I’ in Rooney
In a
recent (and brilliant) piece Peter Oborne (Daily Telegraph) wrote about the
rise of the neo-liberal in our society. “Neo-liberals”, Oborne wrote, “regard
community, place and nation as worthless superstitions. Above all, they place
the individual first.” The subject of his piece was Kevin Pietersen but equally
it could have been Wayne Rooney. Footballers have always been a selfish bunch but the past ten years
has seen an unprecedented rise in player power. The result has been the
terminal decline of team spirit. The idea of a common cause has been trampled
on with everyone out for themselves. Individuals such as Rooney aggressively demand
what’s theirs at the expense of harmony and community. It’s hard to resent Wayne Rooney (and agents) for recognising his commercial
worth. I don’t begrudge him his huge contract. Has he been playing well? Yes, I
suppose. Do the team need him? Yes. Was his contract up for renewal? Yes. All
boxes ticked. But that’s Rooney - forever box-ticking. All lip service and no
heart. No one can claim that Rooney lives an breaths the cause as Bruce, Robson
and Keane once did. Rooney doesn’t care about Man United anymore than you or I
care about our local amateur dramatics society. If they offer us the main part
we’ll take it, if not we’ll move on. At the start of the season he let us all
know he would maintain a level of professionalism – but he wouldn’t enjoy it.
Like the kid who is forced to say sorry, the words come out, but the eyes are a
giveaway. He would run around a lot, he would work hard for the team but he would
do it devoid of any joy. With the world watching in August (home to Chelsea),
he went for a speculative piledriver instead of slipping in Van Persie. The
English media is wowed – he forced a save from 30 yards – Moyes is beaming, but
something is wrong. When did proving a point become more important than winning
three? And that is the neo-liberal for you. Wayne Rooney. A technically gifted
player, the darling of a generation, he ticks all the boxes. He knows how to
say the right things. He sometimes even does the right thing. I just can’t help
but feel it’s always for the wrong reason.
--
7. Decisions,
decisions, decisions.
Ferguson
relished having a big squad because he knew the worth of every single player. Moyes
is inhibited by it. He doesn’t know his players at all. Since day one he has
proven completely incapable of managing a large group of international players.
What’s more, he has shown no improvement as the season’s worn on. Which is just
as well because, ahead of the Munich game, there is no squad to choose from.
RVP is injured, Mata is ineligible, several defenders are out and even Fellaini
is crocked. He will be forced to play the hand he’s been dealt. So that means
no inexplicable dropping of Welbeck, no Mata on the right at the expense of Valencia’s
pace and no constant tinkering at centre half. His only choice will be whether
to restore Evra at Buttner’s expense. And if that’s the extent of the decisions
he has to make then surely, even Moyes can’t get this one wrong.
--
8. Words.
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” R. Kipling.
Moyes is
clearly on drugs. That’s something we all know. But he hasn’t been intoxicated
by the power of words, as Kipling references. And more’s the pity. True leaders
understand the power of words. They know words can manipulate, they can
enchant, they convince, they wound and they save. They are weapons that destroy
and remedies that heal. History connects our leaders with the words they say as
much as with the things they do. Churchill, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr. –
their achievements are encapsulated in the historic sound bites that live on today.
Moyes has not grasped that people are inspired by words. When he talks to the
camera he thinks he’s talking to the people at home. He is a fool. He has not
realised he’s actually talking to his players. Every conversation he has, every
interview he gives and every statement he makes should be calculated for the
players’ ears. He does not have to give the Sermon on the Mount but he has to
understand that his players are looking for a leader. They ought to be hanging
on every word he says but at the moment he’s not worth listening to. He’s told
them they’re not good enough, that they lack world class talent, that there’s
going to be changes, that their old coaches weren’t up to it and that
everything they thought they knew was wrong. When Brian Clough told the Leeds
players to throw their medals in the bin at least he looked them in the eye.
Moyes has taken the coward’s route and done it through the press. It’s no
wonder the dressing room harmony previously the envy of world football has gone.
We are looking for a leader and we have an apologist. And it’s bizarre because
it’s so easy. After all if you say the right things often enough, maybe – just
maybe, people will believe you. But Moyes won’t even do that. Well he’ll have
to learn because if he calls Liverpool favourites again or tells the world we
“aspire” to Manchester City there’ll be no words left to save him. And when he
looks back at his career he’ll do well to ruminate on these all-too-true-words:
“Of all sad words of
tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.”
John Greenleaf
Whittier.
--
9. The truth is out there.
Some
people want to know who shot JFK (spoiler alert - it was Lee Harvey Oswald).
Others want to know what really happened to Tony Soprano (another spoiler alert
– he was killed in the café). Me and 750million United fans (official club
data) would like to know exactly what Fergie meant in his speech about “backing
the new manager”. What was seen as a fairly benign phrase has taken on a whole
new meaning since that historic day. It has conspiracy theorists in a flat
spin. Did he mean, “the club is in bad shape, this is going to be a long road
back under a new and relatively inexperienced manager so he’ll need your
support (aside Moyes is only a few years younger than Ancelotti. Amazing, I
know)? Or did he mean, “support him because that’s what nice people do”? Was he
even talking to the fans? Maybe it was a cryptic message to the Glazers? Or
maybe it was just something he said. After all, Ferguson claimed that he
improvised that famous speech on the advice of his son. But can we really
believe that? With Ferguson, was not every word calculated? As with all mysteries,
the temptation is to analyse minute detail to see patterns that don’t exist.
And when things don’t add up after seemingly regular events, conspiracy
theories abound. It may not quite be our ‘who shot JFK’ moment, but as with
other such historical ambiguities, the truth may never be uncovered.
--
10. Are you not
entertained?
It is
common consensus that if attendances plummet, if season tickets are not renewed
and if the fans revolt, Moyes will get the sack. You couldn’t make it up. For
all the issues that fans have campaigned about over the years including ticket
prices, mistreatment at grounds, anti-social kick off times etc. now the Glazers
want to hear from us. You could not make it up. Because the club (may) have
chosen the wrong manager, but no one within the club is willing or able to do
anything about it, they’re putting this on the fans reaction. Thanks but no
thanks. While I will hardly cheer Moyes (there’s not been much to cheer
frankly) nor will I stand their jeering, taking cheap shots at a man doing his
best (even if it’s not good enough). Either the Glazers believe he’s the right
man for the job or they don’t. But if they’re waiting for a gladiatorial thumbs
up or down moment from the crowd then something is seriously wrong. But then we
knew that already.
--
11. Is Ryan Giggs.
And if it
comes down to a choice between him and Moyes then it isn’t really a choice at
all.
