1.
"Sous les pavés, la plage.”
Under the paving stone lies the beach
The cry from the French civil unrest of May 1968 states that beneath the veneer of modern society there is a natural freedom that can be buried, but never destroyed. Manchester United - like every other club - have been paving over their own heart and soul ever since the Premier League monster grabbed hold of English football. The marketing phenomenon, the brand, the commercial drive have all taken hold of the club in a way that though once unthinkable, is now unshakeable. Yet, something is stirring. Call me naive and impressionable (guilty) but somewhere within the beast, cracks of beauty are beginning to appear. Regardless of money, of marketing, of instagram feeds and shirt sales. Regardless of cringey, commercial partnerships and awkward global branding there is for the first time in a long time, a football team waiting to break out. In Mourinho himself there is a conservative manager desperate to release his own shackles and throw caution to the wind. The dressing room may be focused on image rights and social media - but it still has the ingredients of success. Youth, pace, experience, arrogance, confidence and desire. In the stands the fans will never recover the voice of yesteryear but they still kick every ball in every game. Not everyone is content with YouTube highlights and hashtags. The soul still exists within Manchester United. It has been hidden and buried for too long but it’s there. Now the first Manchester derby of the new era is upon us we are entitled to dream again. To demand a team that makes the hairs stand, that thrills and inspires. A team that never gives in. Nothing in life can ever be what it was. Our heads tell us that. But the soul will always remain. Dig deep enough and you will find it. Under the paving stone lies the beach.
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2. “The fairy tale goes on!”
Martin Tyler, Sky Sports February 2016
If the Marcus Rashford story ended now it would still be worth telling. The 18 year old local lad who had yet to play for the reserves before scoring twice on his European debut, twice on his Premiership debut, once on England debut and then, just for kicks, a hat trick on his England under-21 debut. He also managed to play for England and not look like a complete twat. The boy can do no wrong. This alone is film-worthy. A feel-good BBC film in which you know all the actors but can’t name any of them. Yet this story is just beginning. Marcus Rashford was barely mentioned as a prospective talent at United. He wasn’t the next big thing. Surely it was a fluke - beginner’s luck that would run out eventually. But still he goes on. Off the bench at Hull for twenty scintillating minutes of direct attacking football that ended with a 93rd minute winner. This is a special talent. One who restores your faith in the game. He has directness, composure, skill, pace and temperament - every time he plays we see something new. Mourinho has done him a favour by taking him out of the limelight and letting Ibrahimovic rule the roost. But there's only so long he can hold him back. This is a golden time to watch Rashford. One day his form will drop. One day he’ll get old and the pace will go. But for now he knows nothing other than to be sensational. He is a star. But until now I haven’t been able to enjoy Rashford’s story. The fatalist in me was waiting for something to go wrong. Like seeing a deer in the woods, I didn’t want to make a sound. To crunch the leaves, snap a twig and see Rashford scuttle away would hurt too much. I didn’t want to stare, didn’t want to spook him - I was nervous to admit what I was seeing. But now I know. A pure talent. And a match winner. Long may the fairy tale continue.
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3. Mistakes, mishaps, misfits
If you sign the wrong players you need lots of them. Which explains LVG’s disastrous transfer policy. Of all his signings (and I’m not counting Shaw or Herrera) only Martial and Blind featured significantly in August. The suspicion remains that Blind is merely keeping the seat warm for the next man. But still he’s doing better than most. Darmian, Schneiderlin, Memphis, Rojo and of course Schweinsteiger are nowhere near the first team. So much for value. There’s not a player among them. Yet the predicted ‘exodus’ never materialised. Did they become good players with a new manager? Unfortunately not. This is classic Mourinho. He’s been smart and, dare I say it, selfish. He’s kept these players for those horrendous Thursday night games (and in the unlikely event of an injury crisis). He’s played it safe. For Memphis to get significant football something awfully bad would have to happen to Anthony Martial (see point ten). Even then Ashley Young was ahead of him on the bench at Hull. Matteo Darmian is rumoured to have fallen out with the manager, while Schneiderlin isn’t even needed as Martial’s translator now Pogba’s here. Rojo - who as far as I can tell is 4th choice left back behind Shaw, Blind and Fosu Mensah - must have a deep, dark secret on Mourinho to still be at the club. Mourinho knows he doesn’t need these players. If he does something has gone badly wrong. But he also knows the Glazers will be peering over their glasses at the wage bill desperate for Jose to trim it. One of the biggest mistakes LVG made was getting rid of too many too soon. He decimated the squad and sapped the spirit from the dressing room. Jose has kept everyone together. But harmony can only last so long. If they don’t play they can’t stay.
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4. Rock the Pogba
Value for money is one of the biggest misnomers in football. When clubs moan about what others spend it’s usually because they’re jealous or bitter, or both. We’ve been guilty of it, Wenger too and now Jurgen Klopp. But value is hard to define. If a player costs £30million is he expensive? Yes. But if he stays for ten years and wins 5 trophies is he good value? Yes. If a player costs half that but leaves after two years having achieved nothing is that good value? It might be cheap but it’s not cost effective. So at £86 million is Paul Pogba expensive? Yes. Reassuringly so. Because if I had to make a bold prediction I’d wager that, one day, Pogba will be seen as the best value signing Manchester United ever made.
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5. Mourinho plays his part
There really is no better place to bask than in the warm glow of a happy Jose Mourinho. The man is in his element. The charm, the tailored suits, the light-hearted press conferences sprinkled with humour and deference - it’s all part of the script. And of course winning. Jose does winning very well. This is summertime for Jose. But as the seasons change the question is, will Jose? The optimists pray that within Jose Mourinho is a brilliant, progressive manager desperate to break free. That United is the stage he’s been craving. The cynics will point to his form at every club he’s ever been at. They’ll reference a destructive streak that has seen him go from champion to unemployed within a year three times in his career. Like a beautiful woman on a night out, how will he fare when the chablis starts to spill and the makeup cracks at midnight? Only time will tell which Jose Mourinho we’ll see at United. But so far he’s following the script. Charming press conferences? Check. Winning start? Check. Friends with everyone? Check. Vicious and spiteful fallout with press, owners and dressing room? Let’s wait and see.
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6. “Mr. Jones and me...”
Mr. Jones, The Counting Crows
Anyone who remembers Phil Jones’s performances in the autumn of 2011 must allow themselves a wry smile. How astonishing he was, how easily it all came, what a future he had. The name ‘Duncan’ was mentioned, only partially in jest. How ridiculous we all look now. Even by the time Ferguson called him, “our best ever signing” it was clear Jones’s rise was not going to be as meteoric as hoped. What happened? Were our initial assessments wrong? Or did he just regress? Both? I have been wrong a thousand times about a player and will be so again. But none has been more misleading than Phil Jones. Brittle as a cracker and with all the defensive subtlety of a wasp in a jar Phil Jones chance has surely been and gone. He started one more Premiership game than Luke Shaw last season. Shaw broke his leg in September. It would not surprise me if Jones was in the manager’s office asking to leave this summer. If he can’t even make the bench when Smalling is unavailable then the writing's on the wall. In the song ‘Mr. Jones’ the singer croons, “Mr. Jones and me look into the future”. Whatever the future holds for Phil Jones it won’t be at Manchester United.
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7. An apology
Dearest Zlatan,
I owe you an apology. For many years I saw you as a flat track bully, capable of a few fancy flicks and the odd goal here and there. I never really respected your achievements. I’d fallen into the classic ‘poncey foreigner’ trap and I deeply regret it. Until recently I had never studied your prodigious goal return, or your huge canon of work and large collection of medals. I’d seen you as a luxury. I could not have been more wrong. The pace may have gone but the presence is something we haven’t seen since Cantona. After Eric I thought I’d never love again. I may just have been wrong.
Yours,
Lots and lots of United fans
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8. “The winner is the loser who evaluates defeat properly.”
Brother Colm O'Connell AKA the Godfather of Kenyan running
Jose Mourinho has done what Moyes and LVG spectacularly failed to do: address the key shortcomings of the squad. The dire need for a centre half, a top central midfielder and a great striker have been apparent for years. Moyes refusal to sign any while extending Wayne Rooney’s stay at the club by another 5 years was a double whammy. Van Gaal’s bizarre approach to transfers saw us enter last season with no strikers and a reliance on Bastian Schweinsteiger, who hadn’t been fit for 3 years. Mourinho saw things differently. The four weak spots of the squad were immediately addressed. Overnight we have become a totally different side. Not with dozens of signings, but with four. For the first time since Ferguson we have a manager who values the core more than any other aspect of the side. If there’s a hole it’s the lack of experience at centre half. But through the spine of the team we are as strong now as at any time post-Ronaldo. It’s exciting. But it’s not a fluke. Jose Mourinho has been analysing and preparing for this job since the new year. He needed to hit the ground running. Evaluating all the things that have gone wrong since Ferguson have helped him do just that.
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9. In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
Mourinho has been wholly transparent about his need for a leader at the back. Unable to find one in the transfer market he seems to have stumbled upon his man by chance: Daley Blind. Word was that Jose wasn’t particularly keen on Blind at centre half. Yet three games into the season there he is. The rock at the back, holding it all together. Yes, Bailly has been the team’s standout performer. But it’s been Blind’s savvy leadership that has kept the back four together. He may not be the long term solution - he will always come undone against physical, direct sides - but with Jose clearly not a Smalldini convert and Jones firmly on the shelf, he’s realised that Daley Blind is more than just a (very) pretty face.
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10. “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
Alice in Wonderland
When Louis Van Gaal approached Memphis Depay about a move to Manchester United the sales pitch must have been very clear. Come to United, a club that values wide players, that backs raw talents; a place where the great Ronaldo transitioned from rough diamond to crown prince. This was Memphis’s stage. Here he was going to become an international star. And Memphis will have been promised the earth. Game time won’t be a problem, he’ll have been told. Imagine then his surprise when, on the penultimate day of the same transfer window, he discovered that United had just bought another right-footed left-sided forward. But this was one was even younger, even more expensive and, dare I say it, even better than Memphis. Memphis had just been screwed. Memphis needs games. But as long as Anthony Martial (and now Marcus Rashford) are at the club he will struggle to get them. Never say never, but Memphis’s days at United looked over before they began. I hope I’m wrong (I often am) but it looks a long way back up the rabbit hole for Memphis.
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11. The curious incident of Adnan Januzaj
One of the main challenges as a fan is being able to remain calm in the face of extreme giddiness. The impact of Marcus Rashford, the winning start under Jose and the talismanic qualities of Zlatan Ibrahimovic have aroused such excitement that, frankly, it’s hard to keep a lid on it. I’d do well to remember the derby is only the fourth competitive game of the season. I know that. I could blame the media, but I can wind myself up thank you very much. But bubbles can burst. And nothing deflated quicker than Adnan Januzaj’s career. The exciting 16 year old was due an outing in Ferguson’s last ever game (West Bromwich Albion, May 2013). Only a shock injury to Jonny Evans put paid to that. The following season David Moyes (christ did that really happen?) gave Adnan his chance and the boy took it. With wonderful balance and poise he glided past players. No one knew if he was quick. He was elusive. Untouchable. Or so we thought. Adnan was the sole bright spot of an otherwise dismal season. Then the worst thing that could happen happened. He signed a new contract. A contract far in excess of what his achievements merited. To use a footballing idiom, “his head went”. Gone were the silky runs, the work rate, the consistency. In its place remained a surliness and attitude that have troubled every manager since. Too much too soon. When Ryan Giggs personally handed him the number eleven shirt his destiny seemed written. The heir to the fortune. Within two years Anthony Martial has taken his shirt while Adnan acquaints himself with rather the less salubrious surroundings in Sunderland, albeit it with a familiar manager. Things change very quickly in football. Adnan was a dead cert. Now he’s behind Jesse Lingard. It goes to show that no one can predict the future. It’s also a reminder of how lucky we were to have our previous number eleven for so long. As the curious incident of Adnan Januzaj shows, we’ll never see the likes of Ryan Giggs again.
